All They Want For Christmas Is Mariah

"Everything on the island is more expensive. Buying anything here costs three times as much as on the mainland. That's why I go to Ban Phe for all my shopping. I went to the local store for eggs yesterday and – whooo – too expensive! That's because they have to bring everything here by boat." – this is my rough translation of what the Thai iced tea lady down the road told me two days ago.

She assured me – correctly – her pricing of 60 Baht was perfectly in-line with market rates on Ko Samet, even though the same drink cost 25 Baht Tuesday morning in Bangkok (and was a little better, but don't tell her) and last year was 20 Baht across the water in Ban Phe. I don't especially care that my Thai iced tea costs closer to the $2 than less than $1 – or that the same is true for my freshly cut pineapple, mango or my Nutella-peanut butter crepe two nights ago. Pretty much any snack seems to go for 60 Baht. But what are you going to do – skip the freshly cut mango brought right to your beach chair or go searching down the beach for a better price on pineapple? No, you're not. That's not only foolish, but un-Samet-like of you.

I've written about it before, but as a quick refresher, unlike most Thai islands, Ko Samet never had a local population before tourism. The government opened the island for tourism development in 1981 and it wasn't an instantaneous development boom. Today's Samet has been slow expansion and renovation. Its 1800 residents are mostly employees, business owners and their families. There is no supermarket – just convenience stores and a handful of produce stands. When I first started coming here, there weren't even ATM's – those now exist mostly near the 7-11's at the top of the island. All this to say, Ko Samet doesn't really have any real civic economy. Massive markup is a fact of life.

It also means no movie theater, bowling alley, or any other good rainy day activities – which is why when it rains, it really sucks. I had a couple of rainy days on Samet 20 years ago and it was super lame – especially since back then internet was not readily available and we had no devices beyond a basic cell-phone. So it was pretty much a book and the good company you kept. Getting to the restaurant at your bungalow operation itself could be an ordeal (and probably still is).

So when the clouds rolled in during the late afternoon after a very breezy day, I became concerned that perhaps the fun switch was about to be turned off on Ko Samet. My iPhone begged to differ and assured me the clouds were just clouds and would be gone by morning.

This is also good news for the Vongduean Resort staff who seemed much more excited about Christmas than any of their foreign guests. The team settled on a buffet dinner with a menu that remained undisclosed until dinner time – but as they went around and around again trying to nail down a headcount, I assured them repeatedly that I was all-in whatever it may be, mostly because of how much swirl was around it for them. They also created a Christmas "Coffee Break" at 3 pm, setting up a stand with coffee, tea, water and some cute, but flavorless cookies and pastries (Thai cuisine doesn't really include baked goods, so most any attempt at it I've ever seen yields things that look good and taste like nothing). The staff were all wearing Santa hats, and special Christmas t-shirts they made. Yesterday morning some Christmas decorations went up in front of the resort and they played Christmas music for about three hours. One thing I know from the three Christmases we have spent with the kids in Chiang Mai and Bangkok is that Thais seem to REALLY like Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas Is You. 

In fact, that's the interesting thing this year. Over the past five years, Emily and I took the kids to Thailand three times – always at Winter Break. We have always done the first part of the trip in a city – Chiang Mai one year, Bangkok the other two – and then switched to a beach location right after Christmas (Ko Chang, Khao Lak, Ko Samet). In the cities, Christmas exists nowhere outside of the malls. Not that there aren't plenty of large, amazing malls in Bangkok in which to find Christmas. Nonetheless, the Thai construct of Christmas is one of winter, Santa, reindeer and presents. There's not only nothing religious about it, but it seems to mostly be about getting a taste of Western culture, buying things on sale, and listening to Mariah Carey.

I hadn't thought much about what Christmas would be like on a Thai island. It makes sense that a place completely built for and centered around tourism would give Christmas some heed. Who wouldn't want to make their guests feel at home and celebrated? Only I get the sense most of the guests already realized they were leaving Christmas behind when they came to Thailand and have appeared largely apathetic. I felt a little badly for the excited staff at Christmas Coffee Break and took a couple of flavorless cookies just to be kind.

When Erev Christmas dinner finally rolled around, it was an unexpected selection. Appetizers of fried cashews, fried soybeans, French fries, spring rolls, potato chips and garlic bread. The entrees were a selection of kebabs being freshly grilled with protein selections including chicken, pork, beef, squid, and whole prawn – accompanied by choice of two dipping sauces. Sides included baked potato slices, corn on the cob and rice. A vegetable soup and plenty of fresh fruits – including raspberries which are a total import item – were also available. Dessert included a range of flavorless cookies and pastries and two kinds of Thai sweets – which were the only two things with any flavor (mostly coconut and pandan). Overall, there was a notably broad use of potatoes which I assume they choose because they know foreigners use and like them (and are actually not an indigenous crop, something one rarely saw 20 years ago) and a surprising lack of vegetables which Thai food generally uses quite abundantly. The chicken skewers were quite good as was one of the accompanying sauces.

Given I almost never attend any Christmas meal, let alone one on Christmas Eve, this Christmas dinner was more than satisfactory to me. Certainly, it might not be the menu I would plan if I were hosting Christian friends for a holiday dinner, but then I'm not working at a Thai island resort. My personal tip for the exuberant team so happy in their Santa hats would have been to scale back on the potatoes and maybe lean into their excellent array of more traditional Thai foods. But that's just me. 

Looking around Ao Vongduean while dining, I observed two other lit-up Christmas tree-type decorations and a fire twirling troop going from restaurant to restaurant – the same as any other night. To Vongduean Resort's credit, they had the most holiday festive decor and dinner in the cove. My Santa hat's off to them!

One last surprising thing. Although Christmas Eve on Ko Samet certainly wasn't a Silent Night, it was a very quiet one. Last year, the days leading up to New Year's became increasingly busy with a lot of vacationing Thais. There were definitely some vacationing Thais last night – but Samet is not running full. I now know – the big excitement is New Year's, when Thais also get the holiday off. This suits me perfectly. I can work with all being calm and mild right now.