The thing about planning an international vacation is that we tend to book far out and have no idea what will actually be happening in our lives at the time we're supposed to leave. Certainly in August I couldn't have imagined that I would be in the middle of a company crisis related to my business and that our day of departure would be the same as the funeral for my childhood rabbi and founding rabbi of the temple of which I am now President. I also would not have guessed that Sennen would have come home sick the prior two days before leaving with some kind of a low-grade, non-COVID virus.
I might have imagined that my divorce wouldn't have yet been finalized – though I was hoping for conclusion there. Yet, I did not imagine that on a lark the week prior, I would have seen a listing for a rental house two blocks from Emily's/my old house at the same rent I'm currently paying that would be ideal for the kids – enabling them to walk or ride bikes both to and from school – and between parents' houses. Or that out of ten applicants, I would get it. I get keys to the new house on January 10th – only 5 days after returning – and unlike my current rental, it comes unfurnished and without washer, dryer and refrigerator.
So, while my business goes through some radical changes (which I anticipate will be positive when all is said and done) and I've been working closely with an amazing group of people at temple to respond with appropriate respect and care for our departed Rabbi Emeritus – and taking care of a sick ten-year-old – I'm also uprooting my living situation and doing what I can online to buy appliances and furniture.
Not how I thought the Wednesday we left for France would look.
But that's life. You can't always know how it will look. And you certainly don't know when you'll rise and fall. To my surprise, some very stressful business challenges didn't overwhelm me (though I came close). I have some great people I work with and in my life who have come together and I'm not in it alone. I discovered a strength and confidence in me - perhaps because they're changes that inside, I knew were needed, but I might not ever have otherwise undertaken. In the end, some of our biggest moments of change are when we're back up against the wall.
All the same, Rabbi Paskow's plans are taken care of, Sennen feels well enough to travel, the business issues have been narrowed and are being managed by attorneys and I can get most of what I need for the house online – maybe through some After Christmas sales. There's a path forward and it can be calm. Maybe it's exactly the right time for this break. A clear head and refreshed energy won't hurt me as I undertake some new chapters in 2024.
Besides, as Sennen says, "we're a traveling family." And a traveling family must travel. The kids are beyond excited for France.
Sometimes we depart and there's so much I'm looking forward to. This time, I'm more focused on letting go and leaving some things behind. As in yoga, take a breath and let something go. Then, as my favorite yoga teacher would say, lead with love.
That's exactly what I'm going to do. I plan to spend the next two and a half weeks being present with my children – enjoying them and the experience we're about to have. Life always feels best when I'm present – and not jumping back and forth between the threads of thought and attention in texts, emails and calls. It feels good to do something right and completely.
As for solving the issues of life, sometimes it's like finding something you lost – when you stop looking so hard, it's easier to see. I suspect I could stand to take a step back and come at things with fresh eyes.
Alors. Now we head to France and while it won't have the spirituality of Bali or the relaxed white sand beaches of Thailand – it will still be a haven for inner peace. And of course for patisseries.
Star Alliance Gold Lounge:
