“It’s lawless. We’re not safe anymore. I have no security,” Dipesh explained. “Before, we were at least safe outside. Now, if I come home at 6 or 7 o’clock and it’s gotten dark, Rabina or my mother call me to make sure I’m okay. People get kidnapped.”
Dipesh, his wife Rabina – Emily’s good friend – and his father explained to us over dinner how bad their political situation has gotten. People are abducted for ransom. Gangs with guns show up at people’s doors demanding food and money.
Militant groups demand banks, schools and other institutions to house hundreds to thousands of para-military thugs for anywhere from a night to a week. Dipesh is a Business professor at a major university. They had to close and send their staff running around Kathmandu to secure enough blankets and food to house 1,000 in the university – for no apparent reason. And it wasn’t government ordered.
Since the Maoist insurgents took over and became the legitimate government of Nepal, war has ended, but lawlessness has begun. The paramilitary group and kidnappers get a silent nod from the government because these are people the Maoists used to help them gain power. Now, they get to plunder without reprobation.
Nepal was caught between a monarch who wanted to end his constitutional status and seize full control, and Maoist insurgents who conscripted children into fighting, extorted villages and know ruthlessness as their means of control.
“I think we’re in a transitional phase,” Rabina offered. “It will get better.”
At least the roads are re-opened and the fighting has stopped. Technological development and even some capital development seem to continue despite it all. The family said it’s been surprising, but the march of “progress” has somehow continued.
Dinner with an educated, upper-middle class Nepali family was amazing. Emily lived with Rabina and her family when she came to Kathmandu in 2001. She and Rabina worked together in a human rights organization helping victims of disappearance and torture. Rabina is a lawyer who grew up in a small village a few hours outside Kathmandu, but who pursued education and has dedicated herself to bettering her society.
Today Rabina works on a joint project of the Nepali government and the United Nations to modernize and improve access to the Nepali justice system. Progress is slow because of Nepal’s limited resources, Rabina says. But they have made changes in a few districts.
Of course, more than learning about the politics of Nepal, the amazing part of dinner with this warm and fascinating family is that they are warm and fascinating people. We couldn’t have been made to feel more welcome or treated with more kindness.
Because of the Tihar festival, we got to join Rabina and Dipesh at the front gate of their family home (Dipesh’s parents’ home – people live as an extended family) where they used rice power died in vivid colors to create a design on the ground to invite the goddess of wealth and success, Lakshmi, into their home. She makes her rounds on the second night of Tihar. They, like every Nepali family, had lights decorating their home and little oil lamps lighting the way into their home and through the halls and stairwells to help Lakshmi make sure to find them and hopefully bless them.
Of course, these are people who already know they are more blessed than the average Nepali.
Dipesh’s father was a high ranking official at the Bank of Nepal and then became the CEO of a life insurance company. Their house is large and very comfortable. All of them are very well spoken in English – and I especially like Dipesh’s father’s manner and eloquence. It has the quiet understatement mixed with wisdom and intelligence that often follows successful men. He is now retired after 30 years of service and these days, seems to enjoy managing play time with his granddaughter more than anything else.
These are people who can afford vacations and who have spent significant time in India and other parts of Nepal. Two of Rabina’s siblings are attending college in Oklahoma. They have a water treatment system on the roof of their home and pay privately to do what our public works do as a standard – chlorinate and sanitize their tap water.
Despite their comforts and advantages, these are people who care deeply about their country’s social, political and economic issues. They teach, work for human rights and are infuriated that there are a few wealthy Nepalis who drive Hummers. Apparently, Hummers are the most expensive vehicle you can buy here – and of course, are wider than many Nepali streets. The garish ostentation is a moral abomination to this family.
“How can someone drive around in a Hummer when we have people that can’t afford more than two days’ food?!”
Dipesh believes that with political stability and legal advancement, Nepal could transform itself using its phenomenal possibilities for greater tourism. He sees no reason why there should be poverty at all when the opportunities are so vast.
It reminded me of Indonesia – so rich in resources and manpower that by all rights should be one of the wealthiest countries on Earth. But something in the culture and politics keeps them one of the poorest. Change is so easy to imagine and so difficult to affect.
I couldn’t help but suggest that one of the first improvements should be making the Kathmandu Airport compliant with international standards so it can be certified and start attracting flights from more airlines and countries.
In their clean house, with their wonderful cooking, beautiful daughter, holiday traditions, intelligent family, and depthful discussion – the frustrations of the past few days and the chaos of the streets of central Kathmandu faded away. We could have been anywhere having dinner with friends.
It became clear to me why Emily enjoyed her time in Nepal – if you have the opportunity to know people like these, you can see Nepal from an entirely different perspective – one that involves gratitude, concern, appreciation, care, compassion and integrity. Those things can always wash away the dirt and garbage of city streets. Of course, so can cows who come around and eat it at 10:30 pm.
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