We love and hate one another. The French admire, fear and loathe us. They honor and love us too. And while we can appreciate their art and culture, we don’t understand their politics at all. The French make some interesting choices and have gone up and down on the prickle-o-meter for the past 65 years.
What’s up with that?
Well, let’s start with the fact that when you go from presiding over an empire spanning all of Europe and colonies around the globe to facing utter defeat on your own territory in less than 100 years, it’s not easy. And who pretty much saves you from annihilation? The country who you helped rebel against England – only now it’s a major power.
Then you do it again in a worse way 25 years later. Then your colonies leave you and demand alimony. It’s like divorce and bankruptcy on a national and cultural level.
So, that was hard.
And then they HAD to be prickly from their perspective. DeGaulle felt that the French were so beaten down that they needed to start to feel proud and independent again. That meant a wonderful mixture of phrases any parent has heard – “I can do it myself!” “I’m not listening!” “You’re not the boss of me!” and “You have no idea what you’re talking about – you’re so stupid!”
The French went through some cultural regression.
But their relationship with America became awkward. It’s like an older sibling turning to the younger one who has grown up and gotten his shit together. The French want to be the older, gracious, amiable sibling. They have years of knowledge, culture, experience – we should all be buddies, but they should be the one showing us how it works.
In the end, it’s all still family. They love us and they’re our friend – it’s just very difficult to have a successful younger sibling who sometimes saves your ass – and then later tells you what to do.
Just like after a divorce, the French have had to retool. There was a lot of who am I now? Where do I go with my life? And if I’m not a great power, what am I? Not to mention – I had all these colonies and they all want something and I look like a complete schmuck (because the French love Yiddish) for leaving them high and dry and in the state of civil war when I went bankrupt.
So there was all of that.
Then there’s the stuff they have some valid complaints or at least concerns about. America has created a phenomenon – not by design, but very much in fact – that causes numerous cultures to struggle. Our technology comes with values imbedded in it.
As America – whose economy rests on ideas and innovation – develops revolutionary technologies, such as the Internet, they promulgate certain values. Namely, we export efficiency and individualism. The Internet, cell phones, PDAs, satellite, electronic books, iPods, 3G wireless networks. – they were all designed with the ideas of personal empowerment – which Americans adore. We see absolutely nothing wrong with this – and for us, there isn’t. In fact, all of these things were created with the benefit of mankind in mind and we rightfully celebrate the accomplishments of our advancements.
At the same time, there’s something terribly insidious about them to many other cultures. Not everyone wants individual empowerment. Even more, not everyone values efficiency. As we well know, our technologies and innovations aren’t buying Americans more free time and more balances lives – they are empowering us to do more and make more money. We hope that all of this will somehow “pay off” in the form of better lives for us and our children. But even Americans are debating where all our wonders are steering the ship.
For other countries, it stops mattering what they want. If America is working hard and using technology to its great advantage, then that’s where the bar gets set. If you want to do business, you need computers and networks and PDAs. Business has standards. Lifestyles change. In order to keep up and maintain your place in the world, you have to get on board.
The French do not like to get on board.
More importantly, consumer culture, fast food, chatting on the phone instead of in person, electronic entertainment, low prices from giant retail chains – these are inconsistent with their culture.
Yet, to their shock and horror, they’re also strangely attractive. Text messaging is kinda’ handy. And having the kids play video games on a long car, train or plane trip is…convenient.
There’s only one thing to do – freak out and hate your friend a little.
Actually, there are a couple of things to do. The other involves building defenses (because the Maginot line worked out so well….). France has a ministry of culture – whose mission is to protect French-ness. I’m not sure what exactly they do – except involve themselves in French education standards and set some standards for entertainment.
For example, American television programming and movies shown on French television are dubbed into French. Really good dubbing, mind you. Like I watch mouths to see if I can find the flaws. So, I’ve seen a bunch of American movies in French now – and it’s very interesting for me and useful for language learning.
Of course, the idea isn’t for my education – it’s to keep French dominant even as American entertainment prevails. It’s kind of brilliant. People get to watch what they want – and who really complains that something isn’t in subtitles?
The other big rub in the family is politics – particularly geopolitics. The French have this knack at being friendly with the people we’re trying to thwart or boycott. For example, helped build a nuclear reactor in Iraq in the 1980s? France. It was destroyed by the Israelis before it became operational, by the way.
France is pretty friendly in the Arab world in general. During the Cold War, France made several overtures to the Soviets in an attempt toward detente – before we were ready for our own detente. Every now and then, they really piss us off.
Last night I met a nice Persian guy who runs a tea salon here in Cannes, whose family left Iran right after the revolution and who went to all international schools growing up – so he has perfect American English. If you dropped him into Los Angeles, he’d take like a fish to water. He’s been in France since he was a child. He summed up French political diffidence so well.
The French can no longer fight wars wherever they want. They could barely defend themselves if they had to. They can either be in the pocket of the American-British alliance, or try to assert themselves as an independent power by trying to form their own networks. They keep their options open.
Of course, he said, they haven’t accepted yet that they really belong with America and England. He feels that in the end – that’s where they always go when times get tough – they just don’t want to admit that they have no real choice.
And we’re back to the schizophrenic issues of sibling rivalry and a bad divorce.
What the French have down – which I think we completely undervalue – is lifestyle. They walk their neighborhoods. They resist chain stores. They shop at local small businesses. They go to separate butcher, produce, cheese and pastry shops. They support boutiques, independent bookstores and independent pharmacies. Cannes has at least three outdoor markets that I’ve seen – and I don’t get up to the Cannet up the hill at all.
These markets are busy every morning selling fresh produce, meats and fish. People buy their food daily at their markets and local shops. They chat with the neighbors. They know the vendors.
They go to local bars and cafes and sit and talk with the owners, servers and their neighbors. You hear people say things to one another like – Hello, Monsieur! How are you today? Where’s your wife? When you’re done, would you like to trade newspapers? Your dog is adorable (dogs are welcome at cafes).
If a child cries – because kids too are welcome at some cafes – people say things like, “Oh, we have a singer!” and they pitch in and try to get the upset child to play with a dog or look at something they have in their purse or wallet for just such an occasion.
People also have lunch. Real, sit down, get served a hot meal, lunch. Every day. Cafes and brasseries fill up at 1pm with people sitting calmly, not having business meetings or checking their PDAs, but having lunch and dining.
Restaurants all have a plat du jour which comes with a beverage and usually dessert. The plat du jour is usually very good – and cooked in advance so it’s quick to serve. Things like roasted lamb, a seafood casserole, roasted chicken in some amazing confiture or sauce. People sit and eat lunch the way Americans used to have family dinners that mom spent hours making.
Then they go back to work – and unlike the Greeks, they do things. Just not for more than 35 hours per week….
So, while our friends may be a little difficult and sometimes unkind – I believe they have something to share with us as well. We can learn a few things from the French just as they could learn a few things from us.
Hopefully, everyone can settle down and understand each other so that someday we can once again be more friends than frenemies.
Sent from my iPad
