I Can Tell That We Are Gonna Be Friends (Probably)

It was our first time having a local join us for the beach and we were running ten minutes late. Not the impression I prefer, but also, I reassured myself, not rude in Greek culture. Besides, I had texted. The kids had a great attitude about getting ready and out even if it was earlier than usual. Given we were late and that we were carrying the cooler backpack with extra items to account for our guest – plus an extra ThermoFlask water bottle – driving to the front of town for pickups seemed the most efficient way to go, even if it was a ridiculously short distance.

At 11:10 am, the area around the port had no parking spaces and was bustling in Patmos terms. So, I parked in a “white zone” and the kids went to get Savina from the Ta Kardasia pie bakery, which her mom owns and runs. They returned a few minutes later with Savina, armed with a beach bag. And we were off for Agriolivadi.

Savina’s English is very good and she’s comfortable using it. Therefore it surprised me to learn she wasn’t in a private or international school – English is just something that interests her, as it did her mom, Matoula who has excellent English. From a mixture of things explained by Matoula and Savina over our past few encounters, the picture emerged that Savina – who spends the school year in Athens, but is from Patmos and has a Patmian father – has had a recent falling out with her best friend. The details are unclear, but the friend doesn’t want to get together and Savina feels hurt and betrayed. It also seems there’s a classic group response where the other girls won’t get together with Savina if the best friend doesn’t. This has disrupted summer as Savina and Matoula imagined it.

Thus, our invitation for Savina to join us was welcomed and despite what I can only imagine to be a headache of a day speaking only English, she showed up with a very positive attitude. When I told her the boys can be a little crazy, she responded, “Me too!”

So began a day of what felt chancy, but worked out very well. Savina is the same age as Sennen and Ethan – which made me think that was the natural alignment. I should have realized girl bonding would preempt age. Ailyn suddenly had a friend and a new equilibrium came into being as soon as we settled in our beach chairs. The boys sat with me and the girls sat in their pair of beach chairs, chatting and then giggling.

Hanging out with new friends and anyone else’s family is always interesting if not eye-opening at first. Obviously, I can’t account for everything Savina must have thought was strange or different about us, but the 64 oz ThermoFlask we handed her and our crazy American face-stick and spray sunscreen were surprising. Nonetheless, she was willing to try it all and seemed to conclude at least face-stick was a good invention.

Once the kids were in the water, the boy/girl barriers began to break down. Within 20 minutes, they were all throwing around the volleyball, talking and swimming after it. At one point Ethan took a break early and told me he really didn’t understand much of what Savina was saying because of her accent. That too seemed to change as the afternoon went on.

As the kids broke for lunch, Savina looked at our sandwiches with curiosity. Her mom made her one, but it didn’t resemble ours which used  a batard-style loaf from the bakery and fillings that included (depending on the person) turkey, gouda, brie, salami, prosciutto, balsamic and pesto. Perhaps Ethan and Sennen eating giant two-footlong cucumbers was unusual. We were clearly doing lunch differently than she was used to. Although later in the afternoon, she did try our brown rice chip snacks and liked those a lot.

Amazingly, the kids were so happy all hanging out together that when I went swimming, they didn’t even care. Not that I don’t enjoy my time in the water with the kids, but I haven’t swam without kids on or close to me since arriving. Instead today, I swam freely, the kids totally absorbed in their games and conversations.

The moments I heard included questions both common to getting to know a new person as well as learning about how people in another culture live. What music do you listen to? Do you know this movie? What time do you go to bed? What time do you get up? What would your mom say if you did ….? Do you have water bottles like this? Have you ever driven? Are you allowed to….? At your school do they…..?

I couldn’t tell at the end of the afternoon if this was a pleasant interlude or the beginning of a friendship. Then, Ailyn asked if we could invite Savina over for dinner, to which Savina was highly agreeable and Matoula consented. The boys were equally supportive of Savina coming for dinner – knowing I have numerous work calls tonight and that the four of them would be largely on their own.

What comes next? I don’t know. But developing peer friends in another country and culture is an awesome thing I highly support. In the past, the kids have typically connected more with other English-speaking foreigners, This is a real local connection and potentially one they can sustain. I’m intrigued.