"Tomorrow is very busy. Very busy. Many customers coming. Three cruise ships. No four cruise ships! You want these, better buy today." This is the slightly cleaned up version of what Alessandro told me as I helped Michelle shop for olive oil by FaceTime. Alessandro from Cuba speaks Spanish, English, Greek, Italian and some French – all at the same time. He offers few sentences that if read back by the court reporter would make any sense – but somehow in context, I can carry on a meaningful conversion roughly 70 percent of the time. The rest I smile and nod and sometimes I wonder if he's kinda' doing the same.
What comes through no matter what is Alessandro's a really good guy. He and his wife Eirini run Nektar, the tourist-oriented natural goods shop by my house. If you want to bring high quality Greek olive oil or honey back home for gifts or to enjoy – and you'd like it in metal containers guaranteed not to break or leak in your luggage, Nektar is your shop. Not that they don't sell hundred of other things from locally made soaps to olive wood cutting boards to dried fruits to spices to candies…. if it's made in Greece and isn't more artisan than manufactured, Eirini and Alessandro probably have it and can explain it all in five languages.
Michelle bought a number of gifts from them before leaving. Only upon further reflection, she wished she had bought more of them for an ever-growing list of people. Yesterday, Michelle had me photograph the olive oil section of Nektar for her consideration. Today I took her in by FaceTime to review the options further with Alessandro able to tour us and answer questions. While the shopping, the products and Alessandro could in and of themselves make an interesting blog post, what was equally noticeable was how many people were in the shop in the middle of the day besides me. With only one smaller, boutique cruise ship anchored off-shore, this could only mean one thing: July is wearing on and the tourism is rising. In fact, Alessandro – who always connects people of the same nationality as if to show the fact that a fellow countryman is shopping in his store shows what a great place it is – introduced me to an American couple from New York who had just arrived the night before for two weeks on the island.
I should have caught my first hint of the shift last night at the supermarket. I stopped in around 7pm to grab a few things for my mom's arrival (she is literally at the Athens airport awaiting her domestic flight to Kos as I write). The store was crowded, the little parking lot backed up with cars waiting to get in. I heard a variety of languages, no shortage of which was Greek – but not so much by locals. There was a family I found myself consistently shopping near who were speaking what I'm pretty sure was a Slavic language. Also pockets of French, German, English and a man wearing an ensemble I can honestly say I have never seen anywhere.
In other words, people are stocking up their holiday apartments and houses. With a shocking amount of packaged, ultra-processed foods I might add!
If any doubt remained, Agriolivadi Beach crushed it. When I arrived to write and lunch, the beach chairs appeared full on every row. I haven't see that yet. My friend George who manages properties arrived just ahead of me. He spends 3 pm to 6pm at Agriolivadi relaxing and paddleboarding no matter what, everyday. He obviously has a great relationship with the family that runs the beach chair and sports equipment concession. Today I wondered if even that would guarantee him a lounge chair – how much money is the family willing to forgo and how many disappointed customers will they take on for him? I'm pretty sure George skipped lounging and went straight to the paddleboard – which makes the most sense.
In short, we are entering high season!
When Emily and I began our divorce negotiations, I wanted the kids for the second half of the summer. When we stayed for nine weeks in 2019, I remember late July and August some of the best time – lots of people from many countries which meant a very international set of children. Sennen and Ailyn found more kids on the beach to play with – and of those, a decent number they could also speak with compared with earlier in the season. I reasoned the second half of the summer would be more fun for the kids. Perhaps it will be.
However, because of when Emily was able to book summer camp for them last year, we agreed that for 2023 I would take the kids for the first half of summer break. Over the course of thee summer – both with and without the kids – I came to conclude the calmer, less crowded first half may well work better for the kids. Only Emily wasn't willing to adjust and it wasn't the hill on which I planned to die. So summer 2024 will be the second half of an experiment – we'll see which of my two hypotheses was right and then, if need be, approach Emily again.
In the meantime, I'm experiencing a little anxiety. The filled lounge chairs at Agriolivadi reminded me how in 2019, we began to get to the beach earlier to get a decent spot. I also remembered how parking the rental car become more challenging as we moved into late July and August as the public lots filled up – especially in the evenings. It helped to head home before dinner hour. After all, driving around looking for parking is not what I want out of my Patmos experience! When I was here alone in late July and August this entire issue was obviated because I had a motorscooter, which was never a problem to park.
Lucky for me, I'm not trying to get an annual vacation in two or three weeks. This summer is a 10 week, ongoing experience. I get to quasi-live here. Patmos and I can go through all the phases – I can revisit the experiences again before I decide what's "good" and "bad". Of course a big part of the evaluations comes from what works for the kids. It's our ensemble experience that matters so much.
Today, the next phase feels imminent. My mom is on her way. I sent the kids their last email letters at camp. There are no letters on Shabbat and they go home Sunday morning. I leave for Athens tonight, have an overnight at the airport Sofitel and fly home Sunday. In two days, I'll see my kids again and two days beyond that, my half of the summer with them begins. We'll head back here and decide what we think of the second half of Patmos summer.
I'll go from my Patmos experience with Michelle, to my Patmos self for a week to our Patmos family residency. It's like three summers in one.
One advantage of semi-living here is we'll have options. If the restaurants feel too crowded, we can always eat in. Sennen really wants to use the barbecue this year – so we can always lean-into that. If the lounge chairs are full-up, we can bring beach chairs to the other side of the beach. in the past it never made sense to buy beach gear. It does now – we can keep it. If an organized beach is too full, we can take our beach chairs to what I call a disorganized beach. I'm more amenable if I have a chair.
One thing Emily and I caught onto early when traveling internationally with kids – go with the flow. It's never going to be the same kind of travel with kids, so don't try to make it the same or bemoan what it isn't. When they were little, that means taking breaks when they were tired, choosing fewer activities, veering "off-course" because sometimes the thing they find coolest isn't anything you would have imagined or planned for. At 3.5 years-old, Sennen drew tremendous satisfaction visiting the turtle statue at the Lotus Temple in Ubud, Bali and sweeping the grounds with fallen frangipani leaves. It had both a developmentally appropriate and somewhat reverently ritualistic qualities. While we probably wouldn't have spent that amount of time at that particular temple, we went with it. I had years in Ubud before – Emily had months. Why not just slow down and let the kid tend the temple? The Balinese there thought it was awesome. Maybe it was the best thing he could be doing?
The kids are definitely older, but perhaps what matters isn't maximizing the "vacation" qualities of Patmos. Maybe we don't need to worry about the beach everyday. It could be giving them responsibilities and autonomy will matter. I could be proven wrong, but I suspect buying chicken at the butcher and finding friends to play soccer with might count for more than a front-row lounge chair this year. Sennen plans to resume his job at Nektar and Eirini is looking forward to having him back. There's a nearby boutique where Ailyn is hoping to "work" this year. Maybe we'll sit on the roof and look at the stars and monastery at night. Maybe we'll have a movie night because sometimes you need a vacation from vacation.
All of this to say, what has meaning and importance may not be what's in the guidebook, or even what the other families on their summer vacations do. Unlike them, we exist in a liminal space between vacation and everyday life. We're "summering".
Who knows exactly what will unfold next – but it's time to turn the card over and find out.
I have a few hours left of Patmos to take care of the final odds and ends before heading to the ferry dock. Another stop at Nektar to buy more of what Michelle wants me to bring back, folding some laundry, a quick shower, toiletry kit in my bag and I'll be ready to go – not just to Athens be to the second half of the summer. It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me. And I'm feeling good.
