“You should have defended my honor!” Emily said.
“What should I have done?!”
“You should have gone over there and beat the shit out of her with one of her baguettes!”
My beautiful, sweet wife was enraged, hours after a Vietnamese sidewalk baguette seller walked up to her in the street and smacked her quite hard on the shoulder, indicating Emily should move.
We had stopped at a street corner in Hanoi to decide which way to turn and inadvertently blocked the view of a curbside baguette vendor. Another baguette seller nearby – who was clearly the leader of the baguette-selling ring became nonplussed and communicated to her clearly and directly with the aforementioned surprise assault.
Emily stood there shocked as the woman walked away in a huff and returned to her pile of baguettes.
We did what any sensible people would do – looked at her like she was weird, and then walked away, going about our day. Because even more than the ever-important, “Do I really want to argue with a whore?” question of last week, “Do I really want to argue with a curb-side baguette woman?” has a clear answer.
But Emily wasn’t done being shocked.
“She hit me! She actually hit me!”
“Yeah, I know. But she’s an angry baguette woman…let’s go.”
As we grabbed a quick dinner before heading to the airport yesterday evening, Emily’s outrage at the unprovoked incident resurfaced.
“She hit me! I can’t believe she hit me!”
“Did you she hurt you?”
“No, but I can’t believe she hit me! I should have hit her!”
“Love, what possible good could come from getting into it with a baguette woman?!”
“If people didn’t get into it, then there would always be bullies. That’s how you stop bullies.”
“What would you have done?”
“I would have hit her with her own baguettes!”
That’s when my wife – a sociologist who majored in women’s studies and specializes in domestic violence and rape – said she changed her mind and decided that I should have beaten a small, poor Vietnamese woman with her own means of livelihood.
Lesson – don’t hit Emily.
Luckily, instead of hunting down the baguette woman to claim vigilante justice, we went to the airport and flew on a very nice Qatar Airways 777 to Bangkok.
They say one night in Bangkok makes a hard man crumble…but I’m kind of a softy, so I just bounce. In fact, our only regret is that we didn’t have more than a night in Bangkok. Something about coming back to the Kingdom always feels like home.
Because our flight landed at 1:10 am, there wasn’t much Bangkok activity on our agenda. It was straight to the hotel we had loved so much last visit where the staff remembered us and were their usual friendly, helpful selves.
After showering, we enjoyed hitting the very comfortable bed with the intention of sleeping in. Only, unlike Hanoi, the rooms at our Bangkok hotel have big, wide windows that even when curtained can’t block the powerful tropical sun. I have always found it difficult to sleep-in in the tropics – and especially Thailand.
So, despite being a little underslept, Emily and I set about enjoying our day in Bangkok. After breakfast and a little work Emily was trying to do before we arrive in Internet- questionable Laos, we headed out and about to grab lunch and a two-hour Thai massage.
On a Saturday, the traffic in Bangkok is perhaps worse than a weekday. The people of Bangkok get out and enjoy their weekends. Malls are packed, streets are crowded and all a taxi driver can say is “lok tip!” (traffic jam).
The thing we both sort of love about Bangkok is that there’s nothing new for either of us. It’s easy. We had a few toiletries to buy. Done without trying. We know where to go, how to find things – and in part because I speak the language, we don’t get cheated on taxi fares and the like.
There’s really nothing special to say – it was a typical Bangkok day complete with head to toe relaxation at the nearby Thai massage parlor and freshly cut pineapple and Thai iced teas from the street carts.
In an hour, we’ll head to Hualamphong Station to catch an overnight train to Nong Khai. We should arrive at about 8:15 am and then head to the border crossing. If all goes well, we’ll be at our hotel in Vientiane, Laos by 10:30 am.
That leaves us a work-free Sunday enjoy Vientiane and check the WiFi to see if we can stay in Vientiane. We’re doubtful because no one seems to really know the speed of the Internet and several places told us, “sometimes fast, sometimes slow.” Not confidence inspiring and Emily has live lectures this week.
It’s always possible that phrase backpackers say when planning their regional travel, “Back to Bangkok….” For them it’s the hub of transit coordination. For us, it would be a cyber-refugee camp.
Either way, we’ll see a little Laos and have an adventure.
*This is not the actual baguette lady – but a reasonable representation.
Sent from my iPad
