Personal Struggles

"I told myself I wasn't going to be Lion Dimitris and I wasn't going to be Donkey Dimitris – I'm just gonna' be Dimitris myself. But that doesn't work – I have to be Lion or Donkey Dimitris!" 

Dimitris and his wife Christina are both friends and the people we rent our cars from. I stopped by to give Dimitris his end-of-rental payment and of course we chit-chatted.

"It's been a crazy summer! Two years ago I would have told you 90 percent of customers are great and ten percent are demanding, but this year, it's been exactly the opposite!"

In fact, he has noticed his customers have become increasingly demanding and difficult since COVID. "It was completely different before COVID! I don't know what happened! Sometimes I wonder if it's me – maybe we've changed? But so many people are always pushing, pushing, pushing! I don't understand!"

Dimitris then told me some of his crazy customer stories from this summer – a collection of narcissistic vignettes. He further comforted himself and entertained me with the worst car-renter happenings of the summer across all rental agencies. The island's many care rental businesses have an "industry wide" WhatsApp chat group in which they alert one another of they see anything bad happen with someone else's car and in which they share their tales of woe.

Two days ago, someone drove their rental car off the edge of the marina into the water when they drove forward instead of reversing out of their parking space. Two nights ago someone who had been drinking tried parking in a space along the marina  and ran headfirst into a street lamp, totaling the car and tipping the street lamp.

The day before someone illegally parked in a place where the road from the southern part of the island narrows as it connects with Skala. The islands fire truck was hading back to town and got caught between illegally parked cars. It took three hours to sort the mess out and get the cars and the firetruck physically separated.

All of this after last year's crown jewel story of a man who rented a car just like ours – a little Fiat Panda – and followed Google Maps' directions so blindly that he drove down a staircase in Hora, destroying the underside of the car. Nonetheless, he kept driving even after he cleared the staircase that Google had mistaken for a drivable road. The man didn't mention it to the rental car agency and tried to drop it off just minutes before his ferry left – hoping to skip town and avoid the issue – thus adding dishonesty to idiocy.

It may be decades before we know the full array of the pandemic's effects. Could it be that consumer and traveler behaviors have changed in some way? It seems plausible. Could it be there's more narcissism or just some kind of justified selfishness adopted as a result of COVID? Maybe. The world does seem to be changing in some very concerning ways and it seems like our values are drifting pretty far from those of The Greatest Generation.

Luckily, not everyone is so unmoored. One of the attractions to Patmos is its more conservative, connected community. As one person told me, people here sometimes have their problems with each other, but they stay polite and often time passes and everyone moves on. In a small community with such interconnection and interdependence, you can't afford many enemies. 

Our friends and the kids' bosses Eirini and Alessandro are among those with good hearts and solid values. Today was the kids' last day of work (they decided to take tomorrow off to just enjoy their last day). Eirini had little bags of treats ready for each kid, and of course paid them. We wanted to show our appreciation for all they have done and just what great friends and neighbors they are – so Sennen made a painting for them, which they really valued. 

Yesterday when swimming at Pleiades, Coach Thanasis came with his four-year old little girl and they were joined by his wife Eirini. Thanasis adores his little girl – who clearly has her dad wrapped around her finger. The kids lit up to see Coach Thanasis who they adore. He was excited to see them. Everyone sort of lit up for each other and eventually played ball together. It was very sweet. Today they have their last training session of the summer. As I confirmed with Thanasis, he told me what amazing kids I have – which he says regularly. Sennen made him a painting as well. It's a very sweet situation and the kind of thing I've only ever seen here.

But the sweet moments aren't covering up the bitterness for Sennen. Since Sunday evening, he has been breaking down intermittently crying about not wanting to go home. He wants Patmos to be his home. We talk about all the reasons we live in Westlake and how his mom and sister aren't signing up for Patmos as their home – let alone, aunts, grandparents, friends, etc. He hears it and it makes sense to him. Sometimes it helps stabilize him for a bit. Inevitably he comes back to crying and not wanting to leave. Sometimes he just refuses – "I'm staying here! This is my home now!" or "This is how I want to live! I just want to stay here! Why don't I get to decide my life?!"

It doesn't make for the best few days.

I offer empathy – because I could easily live here full-time. I understand why he likes and wants it. This just isn't our time.

Yesterday on the walk from the parking lot to home, we stopped at the pharmacy to let Eleini whose family owns it know about a sick cat we saw two days ago. Eleini is one of the leaders of the local organization that helps stray cats. While Ailyn and I shared our photos and story with Eleini, Sennen sat outside and befriended an orange tabby that looked like it could be related to Ketchup in our yard. Guadalupe as he named it, loved being pet. Sennen wanted her to come to our yard. I pointed out Guadalupe was laying in front of the pharmacy of a woman who is patron saint of stray cats and a pet grooming salon. Chances are Guadalupe is well cared for and would be missed be her humans. Consistent with my observation, Guadalupe did not appear at all interested in going anywhere.

As we walked home, Sennen broke down crying about Guadalupe who is the best cat ever. And then about our cats. And then about leaving Patmos. And basically, having to go to Westlake sucks – and Patmos is the only home he's interested in. And then he and Guadalupe can hang out more.

This behavior isn't new – last year not only did we go through this leading up to our departure, but Sennen had a near panic attack as we boarded Blue Star 2 and threatened to run off the ship and stay, even if Ailyn and I went. Life here resonates for Sennen as it does for me- but for him it takes on a powerful urgency that's challenging to say the least.

My best strategy has been to point out that mourning our departure interferes with enjoying our final days which we should savor. He buys the logic, but it seems hard to practice. 

Perhaps time with Coach Thanasis will help. Maybe a nice day at Agriolivadi tomorrow and dinner at Flisvos – all favorite things and places. The community we have been building, the joy of the beauty and lifestyle and the wonderful, spiritual energy here make Patmos hard to leave for us all. I try to focus on the fact that we have a home here, a place in the community and we'll be back. This isn't the end of our Patmos story. 

So as sad as I'll be tomorrow night to board Blue Star 2 and pull out of Patmos, I'll be relieved when we have pulled out of port with all three of us still aboard. Here's hoping….