“Let me write it down for you, so you can remember it better,” was my very nice dentist’s very polite way of saying, “You don’t pronounce it right, let me teach you….”
She grabbed a piece of paper and wrote the English transliteration (because I’m illiterate in Thai) of the word book and then placed in the tonal markings. She then pointed to them with her pen as she pronounced the world for me.
I repeated correctly and then she explained how the word for book is not related to the word for study, even though I thought it was – and was thus pronouncing the central piece of the word incorrectly. She was possibly the best teacher I ever had.
I’m back to speaking Thai everyday and for a lot of purposes. Just like in France, the first day or two I stumbled more. A week later, all kinds of words have tumbled back into my head. Occasionally, things just come out of my mouth that I forgot I knew. Or at that key moment when I think I can’t express an idea or concept, the magic word I’m searching for drops from the back of my brain onto my tongue and I’m briefly elated – because I really didn’t think I knew it….and then it turns out I did.
Language is such an interesting thing. When I lived here, I was obsessed with learning Thai. I never intended to and originally had no interest. Then I made friends with my British co-worker, Jay. We hung out a lot and for a few months he and his girlfriend lived with me when they were between living situations. He had been in Thailand four years at that point and spoke Thai well – but with enough British accent and slower speed that I could begin to decipher words. I asked him if what he said meant this or that. He could explain it and suddenly, I was acquiring Thai.
When his girlfriend, Kung moved to Bangkok, she became my favorite resource. I could ask her for any word I needed and she happily gave it to me. I decided I could effectively learn two words a day. Every day, I encountered situations where having a particular word would make them easier. My list organically grew to meet my transactional and communication needs and I checked them off my list two by two.
If you think about it, we don’t use that many words in everyday speech. So, it didn’t take too long before I had enough words to put together functional sentences and not that much longer before I had conversations. Once I knew enough words, I could ask anyone for words. “What do you call this in Thai?” “It’s like this, but larger and a different color…do you know what it’s called in Thai?” Suddenly, I had available teachers everywhere.
Of course the Thai administrative staff at the school where I worked were the best for proper Thai and pronunciation. I worked at one of the best Catholic schools and university in Bangkok and the English speaking administrators were very senior, well-educated, well-spoken people. If I wanted the proper word or the best pronunciation, Ajarn (Professor) Kalaya was my best choice. If I wanted slang or the easiest to remember words, I went to Kung. When I started dating a girl who worked in the computer science department, I learned all the words for emotions, states of mind, culture, history, and family.
Jay was the best for words that created cultural responses – garnering sympathy, creating boundaries, bringing students into line. He has a keen understanding of what pushes Thai cultural buttons.
In a little less than a year, I became fairly proficient – far more so than I ever did in Chinese during my year and a half in Taiwan. Thai just clicked and I had great access to helpful people.
I also learned a lot about Thai culture through how people express themselves – as Emily did through her experience of learning Nepali when she lived in Kathmandu. Language takes you inside the thought process and helps you understand cultural views.
This is part of why I become so timid in France. Despite there being a much smaller cultural gap than I experience in Thailand, I understand the French will hold me more accountable. Thais are kind and patient with my language faux-pas… and outlook. They expect little to nothing of me and any Thai I speak is usually seen as fun and interesting. “Hey, he can say that…” “Did you hear what he just said?” are typical responses.
The French know no mercy. Weak French is weak. If you don’t get the concept, you’re missing the point in life. Get on board, or get off. That’s not to say there aren’t some kind and patient people who engaged me and helped me practice during my stays in France. There were many wonderful people. It’s just that they expect me to be more on their page and they’re far less likely to be patient or helpful.
I also learned French through books and classes. I have a much deeper understanding of the language. I’m fully literate. I can self-access language. I love it, in fact. But I learned it all academically and somehow, when I want the words and phrases, it’s a completely different process. I never used the language when I learned it – so the words aren’t always there when I need them. I have to really think. Thai is almost kinesthetic for me.
I’m already back to my old ways. Every day, I learn a new word or two. Two days ago I learned what a wrist strap for a camera is called. I also learned liver for my wife who loves to eat roasted liver. Three days ago it was subway. Yesterday I learned the word for skewer – which had to do with the liver. It turns out it’s the same word as wood. Same, same.
It’s like a game, it’s fun.
However, I don’t know everything and many people are happy to tell me so. My big fault is pronunciation. It’s always a challenge for an English speaker to take on a tonal language and I still stumble on things I’ve known for a long time.
“You speak Thai very well. For a foreigner, very well. I can understand you well. But speak slower, because when you speak slowly, I understand very well. When you speak quickly, I can’t understand,” a kind, old taxi driver told me yesterday.
Last night we had one of the dumbest taxi drivers I’ve ever had in Bangkok. He was clearly new to the city because he didn’t know how to get not only to our hotel, but to any of the landmarks near the hotel. We’re very centrally located and I named the nearby sky train stops for him to help. He was just clueless.
He didn’t have any money left on his mobile phone, so he couldn’t call the hotel. He didn’t seem inclined to ask anyone for directions and he wouldn’t use his radio to get advice from his dispatch. He kept asking me for directions to which I told him, “I don’t know, I’m not a driver – I’ve never driven in Bangkok!”
When we got in, and I told him where we wanted to go, he said he knew….he just wanted the business.
Eventually, I recognized our surroundings enough to begin to guide him, so I navigated us back to our hotel. The whole time, I was giving directions in Thai. Then, toward the end, when I said the phrase for “straight ahead”, he decided to give me pronunciation lessons. He was right that my pronunciation needed some fine tuning, but at that point I was ready to pull out the words for “kill” and “death”.
One moment – the worst of them all – I asked a woman near the Grand Palace for directions to the water taxi dock. I asked in three different ways since she seemed confused. Finally, she said, “Do you speak English? It would be better if we speak in English because you don’t say Thai so well….” Shame washed over me.
Moments of humility are good.
I try to think of what I must sound like to Thais. Their language has a simpler structure, so it’s easy to presume that I must come off well-spoken since it takes less to do so in Thai. Then I listen to the King or the Prime Minister speak, I’m reminded that it’s not all so simple.
I imagine that to Thais, I must sound the way we hear a Thai speaking English in America. Maybe they have some good grammar and can put together a sentence, but they still take some effort and careful listening to understand. No matter what, I have an accent and I’m sure I don’t always choose the best or most appropriate words. They accommodate me.
For that I’m grateful because in so doing, they give me access to their country and culture. They make my experience of Thailand rich, engaging and fun. For me, part of the joy is the game of going one step further, one inch deeper each day.
