Sennen and Ethan came home from a bar in the town square a little past midnight. Ethan wanted to watch the World Cup matches with the locals. So, they ordered milkshakes and joined the crowd. After stumbling home, tired and a little hopped up on salted caramel gelato shake, they unwound no more than a few minutes before either falling asleep (Sennen) or deciding on bed (Ethan).
It was the end of their first complete day on Patmos and they were worn out.
Ailyn capped off her day a little more conservatively. After a little shopping around town, she came home, got ready for bed, watched some The Summer I Turned Pretty and passed out on the sofa – only to be transferred to bed by me with no small effort.
Besides recovering from days of fatigue and travel as well as jet lag, the kids had swam, shopped, eaten a late dinner – and in Sennen’s case, cooked a late dinner. It turned out cooking cubed lamb on the traditional Greek grill didn’t go quite as Sennen hoped in part because he put more meat on the grill at once and also because the chimney starter we have heats only half as much charcoal as it would take to fully supply the barbecue. We need a second chimney starter which Sennen pursued today. Getting a chimney starter on Patmos is not so easy and even Prokopis who owns the hardware store where we got out existing starter referred Sennen to Expert – the appliance and electronics store – in hopes of another. If Expert fails us, we may need to wait until Prokopis can get another delivery.
Today, everyone woke to a normal Patmos day feeling rested and refreshed. The sun was back to beaming in its Aegean blue sky. Pleasant breezes reminded us how delightful June is on Patmos. Unlike late July or early August, we broke no sweat running our late morning errands. The day was everything you could want a Greek island day to be.
We took the kids’ bikes to the very friendly Yorgos the bike man for minor repairs and adjustments at a very reasonable price. There we met his uncle Peter/Petros who lives in Astoria, Queens but spends his summers on Patmos where he is from. Peter loved that we have a house here despite not being Greek and assured I am doing the best thing possible for my kids by bringing them to Patmos and making this part of their lives. He knows – he has kids. And look at how great his nephew, Yorgos is! Yorgos did seem pretty great.
Our new approach to morning errands is to divide and conquer. Sennen and Ethan took on buying pies for lunch and visiting Prokopis about the barbecue Ailyn and I handled Yorgos and I took on getting fruit for afternoon snacks. We all helped with taking the garbage and recycling the bins in the back of town.
Then we were clear for an afternoon at Petra. Gorgeous, clear, inviting Petra. Thanks to the time of year, we had our choice of front row beach chairs. The kids once found Petra dull, but now – like me – consider it their favorite beach. For them, Petra offers the best tanning, deepest swimming and the deepest diving they can manage in the dense, salinic Aegean water. Ailyn in particular likes to see the fish and plant life below and says only at Petra can she get any real depth.
Ethan seemed to like tossing pebbles from the beach into the water – which I eventually had to stop. It’s not acceptable to mess with the beach in that way – though he and Sennen got in a few skips and plunks before I called a stop to it. Ethan also seemed wowed by Petra’s extreme beauty, “How could anyone not love this?!”
Indeed.
For me, it’s the amazing hues of blue that make Petra resplendent along with refreshing water that is very swimmable. Plus, it’s quieter than most beaches and my very favorite place to spend a day reading and swimming.
Unfortunately, Ethan’s eczema was flaring and he couldn’t enjoy the water the way he would have liked. For almost four hours, everyone adapted. They played volleyball in the water, sunned themselves (with lots of sunscreen) and ate Greek pies including chicken and later cream. At one point, Sennen and Ethan went up and down the beach with Ethan walking and Sennen swimming just a few feet away, chatting and laughing. They explored the cliffs. It was everything one would imagine two 13-year-old boys doing on a beach day on Patmos.
By late afternoon, Ailyn wanted to go to the gym (?!) and Ethan’s eczema had him ready for a change in activity. So, we went home where the kids changes and shifted gears to head to the gym where yesterday I bought them a month-long pass. In past years, they went only for training sessions with their beloved Coach Thanasis. This year, I think they can handle themselves and no doubt Coach Thanasis (also the owner) will keep an eye on them.
Their relationship with Thanasis is amazing as both parties seem to really care about and enjoy one another. When Thanasis trains them, he often says, “Pame (come), my babies!” The kids love to imitate him. Last year, the kids explained the rules of baseball to Thanasis who is an American citizen through his mother, but grew up on Patmos without much American culture. Last summer, the kids helped “prepare” him for his winter trip to see family in New York and Ohio.
Sennen also plans to take Ethan to the soccer field and adjacent basketball court so they can begin connecting with other kids and having fun playing sports they both like. They may even go over to Expert to conclude the chimney starter issue.
Although all three kids took miso in insulated water bottles to the gym with them – Ethan style – there are also signs Ethan’s tastes are opening up. He loves Greek pies and gave the disclaimer, “I’m still going to say Japanese food is the best, but this is also really good!”
Sennen was visibly pleased with himself.
My hope is with bicycles available, the kids continue getting out, explore, gaining more autonomy and take on more responsibility. This feels like the age when they can take on more for themselves and at least for Sennen, having a friend should further that.
Tonight, I still have work. The next two days I’m hoping to begin tackling some of our projects and goals like mapping out when “Boat Day” makes sense – which requires a conversation with Yakobos, the day boat captain whose trips are affected both by weather and expected number of participants. Ailyn and I need to discuss her vision for the re-landscaped front yard and begin figuring out things like lighting, furniture and any additional plants to make our Mediterranean garden become an enjoyable living space.
Of course, we’ll still hit the beach per usual.
These first days on Patmos make me think a lot about time and how fluid it can be. There are the moments when time slips through our fingers. The time we wish would pass. The time we wish were slower due to trepidation and the time we wish went faster to get to gain or achieve something. Parties that pass in a flash. Painful moments that feel like an eternity. Times that seem never-ending, until they have ended – never to return. Hurried days and long hours. The hours we wait through. The hours that are too many and the hours that are too few.
Then there are the times we want to go slowly, to savor – like now. We have just four weeks here – which feels like we have a ton of time, even though I know it won’t last nearly long enough. Guarding time is a weight. So, I’m just going to allow this time to be and hopefully find it is more than enough – even if it is never really enough.
One never really knows what any time holds – we often act like things are stable and steady to prevent ourselves from going crazy. Even in a place as steady-seeming as Patmos with its limited, but cherished things to do, I never really know what will happen – but I feel this year will be perhaps more different than the past few. Certainly, Ethan plays a part. But also the kids’ age. Patmos’ familiarity and safety gives them the space to spread out a little – try on some new things. I don’t yet know all of what those will be and it’s highly probable I won’t know about them all. But that’s okay. Kids need their worlds and lives. Not everything should be known.
I spent months both wishing our time here would come, and wanting to stave it off because the Bar Mitzvah was right before and I wasn’t ready for it to come too quickly. In mid-March my father’s dying began and once it became clear it was only a question of time, I wanted it to be long enough to satisfy him and quick so he wouldn’t suffer. And then, when it was obvious there was less time rather than more, I hoped it wouldn’t collide with the Bar Mitzvah – which it didn’t.
I have spent months negotiating with Time and I’m tired. Time is probably tired of me and my constant needs, nags and hubristic attempts to manipulate it. From Time’s perspective, I’m probably a sociopath.
As much as I want to slow and savor this time, I’m out of will. It’s no longer healthy. Perhaps Time has always been what Time is, but now is when I need to stop seeing Time as something out of which I can take more. These next four weeks will be what they are, and I’m going to try my best to enjoy them for that – what they are. Maybe they’ll be generously slow or maybe they’ll slide by all too quickly. But they will be what they will – and I will enjoy them for just that.
