The man’s hand grabbed Emily’s wrist from behind just as she was mid-bite into her gyro. She jumped in alarm. He let go and started laughing. Nicholas, our studio-hotel owner was sitting at the next cafe when we were getting dinner yesterday, saw us and enjoyed a quick practical joke. As I’ve said so many times before – you run into everyone everywhere on this island.
He’s such a nice guy. After asking us how we were, he let us know he had arranged for our motorcycle rental for the weekend and then took off with one of his sons to do something or other. He’s always doing something – but we really have no idea what.
Yesterday marked the half-way point in our stay on Patmos and I was sad to think about it. Only two more weeks. Other than the two day dance festival that starts tonight, there’s really not much on the island we haven’t seen or explored.
At the same time, this feeling of mild dread washes over me at the thought of leaving. Patmos is one of the easiest, most beautiful, most manageable places ever. It rates extremely high on the quality of life spectrum – having enough “stuff” to be comfortable and yet, being small and quiet enough that it has the unspoiled magic of a Greek island.
This is probably why Julia Roberts recently bought a house up in Hora and apparently Tom Hanks and Richard Gere also have homes here. According to Nicholas’ son – there are no paparazzi here and people wouldn’t care if you’re a celebrity or not. Julia Roberts can walk down the streets and locals aren’t going to stop her or say anything. It must be very freeing for her.
However, people increasingly recognize us after two weeks and we have a lot more waving and saying hello as we pass through town. I can only imagine what would happen if we were here two months.
One thing I feel sure is that neither Samos where we’ll go next nor Istanbul can possibly have the wonder we find here. My only – and very big – consolation is Cannes. Few places in the world appeal to me as much as the French Riviera. When I’m writing at a cafe across the street from the beach, enjoying un cafe au lait and pain au chocolate while exercising my French with people named Pierre, Didier, Sophie and Kouadio, I will not be lamenting Patmos.
I will be too busy conjugating verbs and hearing my high school French teacher’s voice in my head speaking like Obe Wan Kenobe saying, “Use the subjunctive, Eric…. it occurs with change of subject AND expression an emotion or belief…..remember to conjugate with avoir unless the verb has to do with emotion or certain direct motions like climbing and falling….when the time comes, you’ll know what to do…..”
What amazes me far more than changes of tense are the passages and feelings of time. We’ve been in Patmos for two weeks and it feels much longer than our two weeks in Israel. We’ve been traveling two months and it feels much longer than two months.
Yet, days zip by in minutes. It reminds me of the warped sense of time in Bali where days were either minutes or eternities and I would never know which it would be. Some months flew by while others stood still. Some days, it was hard to be sure which day it was without the help of a calendar. Under Bali’s perfumed air, giant skies, lush surroundings, and mystical feel, time has difficulty paying attention to its job. Bali is not a place where time is particularly welcome.
Time has been on my mind, though. My father and his wife, Esther are going on a cruise to South America in November. When I called him the other day he mentioned that Esther’s sister passed away recently and they had a neighbor who died too. It made him remember that time is not something you can count on and that it’s best to do the things you want most when you know you can.
My father who has muscular dystrophy which affects his legs most, fights against time as he works hard to walk and get around. But he remains determined and I admire that he has committed himself to taking advantage of life and using time well despite the difficulties.
In the end, my father recognized what – for our sanity and well being – we like to ignore most days of the week: we don’t have any certainty, right, or entitlement to anything at all. Especially time. Everything is really on a day to day, moment to moment basis.
My former boss, Lisa said one of my favorite things I have ever heard. She helped interview someone I was recruiting and on the call, the person asked about how they can know, for certain that they will have their job long-term. Lisa answered, “I don’t know, I’m working on a day to day basis myself. Luckily, the next day just seems to keep coming….” It was a very true and honest answer and one of the things I love about her.
Recently, Emily and I have been using this calm time on Patmos to take care of the travel odds and ends for the next few months – hotel arrangements, local and regional transportation and the hunt for in-room WiFi in Kathmandu. The time in front of us is assumed – and it feels very wonderful and very free.
When I hear the couple upstairs from us with their whiney, crying two-year old, about my father’s vacation, or of Emily’s parents who work hard at supporting and taking care of Emily’s very elderly grandparents – I realize that you never really know what’s around the corner. You live your life as best as possible now because the time you think you’ll have and what you imagine will happen can come out differently. We have people to care for, kindnesses to pay back and challenges we never imagine lurking.
Emily and I have been blessed with this opportunity to have this time now. And hopefully the year will finish out the way we intend. We have taken some risks and made some tradeoffs to have this time. I believe than when the year is over, and this particular adventure complete, it will be like the largest painting or sculpture in our home. We will have this time to put on the shelf or the wall and enjoy for the rest of our lives. To take advantage of time and to create shared experiences of this kind is a fine art. There is nothing to do but to be grateful.
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