I don't get the sense my children feel like they miss out on Christmas or that they're different from the majority in some negative way. If anything, Sennen and Ailyn feel very grounded in their Jewish identity and appear to view Hanukkah as being as good or better than Christmas. Ailyn recently told me her Christian friends are jealous of how Ailyn gets eight nights of presents. Ailyn said she pointed out they get lots of presents – maybe as many or more – just all on one day. Apparently the friends felt that stretching it out would make it more fun. Ailyn smiled telling me this – genuinely feeling she had the best deal.
At least in our family – and to my knowledge – my kids are the first generation to genuinely have this feeling. My parents grew up being distinctly minorities in schools and social setting where except among family and a certain circle of friends – Christmas dominated and being Christian was the decided norm. I grew up on the precipice of a change – at least in our affluent Los Angeles suburb. In elementary school, being Jewish was still the exception and Christmas was still the standard for holiday schoolwork and classroom decoration. The High Holidays weren't yet days off on the school district calendar and only my third grade teacher, Mrs Berger who knew a thing or two about being Jewish had Hanukkah crafts.
In middle school things began to change. My area experienced a sizable Jewish influx two the point where one neighborhood in Agoura was nicknamed the Chailands and my friend Jason's dad, Don Zimring, became an Assistant Superintendent of our school district. The High Holidays became district recognized holidays and suddenly the "and for the Jewish kids…" entered the holiday-time lexicon. The Persian and various Asian populations still sat outside the circle. But, you know….
By high school, I felt a lot more like Ailyn than my parents at Christmas time. I was different, but on the menu – like being in the Vegetarian or Gluten Free section. Whereas Ailyn seems to think she's a $15 smoothie at Erewhon.
When I was younger and Hanukkah and Hanukkah wasn't yet on the menu, Christmas felt big and exclusionary. As time has passed, Christmas in America still feels big – but in an increasingly retail and decreasingly meaningful holiday way. For many, many Americans Christmas is a secular experience.
That's what makes Christmas abroad so interesting.
In Southeast Asia Christmas exists mostly as a novelty in large, fancy malls in big cities – like Central World in Bangkok. Singapore has a little more Christmas given its 19 percent Christian population (exclusive of Filipino workers). Even there, Christmas is largely a mall experience with some holly in the cabin on Singapore Airlines.
My kids have experienced five Christmases in Southeast Asia – which may contribute to why Christmas doesn't seem to them like the bigger, better holiday…?
Last year in France Sennen and Ailyn had what I would consider their very first "true" Christmas. There were Christmas markets around Cannes and Paris. The emphasis of the holiday felt less about retail and more about quiet, together time with family – with fantastic food, of course. Something Jews can appreciate. Traditional foods and tasteful holiday decorations around town mark the season. Holiday hymns coming from churches. It seems to be a little less presents under the tree and a little more long walks with family. And very understandable snacking at Christmas Markets. At least for this Jew, French Christmas (and I've had three) is quite enjoyable.
Patmos takes it down another notch. Christmas Eve services go from 11pm to 2 am in the Cave of the Apocalypse (where St. John the Divine/Theologian wrote Revelations) and services begin in two or three churches including the Monastery of St. John in Hora at 6am Christmas morning and run all day. Being both a Holy Island and a generally more conservative one, there's a significant religious portion of the population. People like Theologia who owns Proton Supermarket will spend most of Christmas in prayer.
Last night was the first I went to the front of town, along the water after dark (to buy a new space heater, if you must know). Until then, I hadn't realized Patmos had any Christmas decor. But there are lights lining parts of the harbor, the cultural center and the street lamps. There's even a fake Christmas tree with lights in front of the cultural center.
However, that's about it.
Yesterday, a group of high schoolers went caroling around town under the supervision of what appeared to be teachers. They sang Greek carols with pretty tunes I had never heard. I was torn – not wanting to photograph them, but also feeling compelled to document the memory. I liked how they went shop to shop with owners and employees coming outside to listen.
The only other place where I encountered Christmas as we know it in America was in the Alpha Beta supermarket – the only chain retail on the island. There all Mariah wants for Christmas remains you. Bing Crosby also does a set when Mariah takes five. Still, the inventory and decor don't do much to denote Christmas. And there's no eggnog – I checked. Not even goat or sheep-nog.
Patmos has no mall or anything equivalent to Target. Shops are small and locally owned. More are open for at least a few hours a day than I had imagined, although less than half of what's open during Summer. There are no Christmas sales, decor, signage or anything else seemingly encouraging people to buy Christmas presents. It's entirely possible people are buying presents at the shops – and even more possible they're ordering on Amazon (usually Amazon Germany which ships free to Greece if you have Prime and order enough) and other e-commerce sites.
Whatever might be going on behind closed doors, Christmas – at least the commercial one – is not in the streets and pathways of Skala.
As I witnessed with Orthodox Easter in April 2022, Patmians seem to hold true to the original meaning of their holidays. Easter is a BIG DEAL here – but not in the bunnies and eggs sense. It's a serious religious holiday with a week's worth of ceremonies, services and traditions. More people leave Patmos than stay – which makes sense since Summer is when people earn their year's living. Their kids' Winter Break is their best chance to travel and take vacations. Yet for those who remain, Christmas seems to be a lot more Jesus than Santa Claus.
I may not share their faith, but I respect it. Patmians keep the Christ in Christmas.
That may not change a young Jewish kid's situation here. First, I would guess Sennen and Ailyn may be the only Jewish kids with a house on the island. I doubt at Patmos Elementary there's a Mrs Berger with her Hanukkah crafts. Nor does there need to be. Greece, after all, has only 4,100 Jews (compared to roughly 75,000 prior to World War II and a history of Greek Jews going back to the 4th Century BCE). Greece is a homogeneous society with an official national religion. Greece is relatively immigration averse – a country conservative enough to know becoming a melting pot is inconsistent with retaining their identity.
So I won't fault them for not wishing me a Happy Hanukkah or even a Happy Holidays. Christmas is theirs and I can be the American neighbor more than the Jewish one. I'll eat their delicious Christmas cookies, appreciate their Greek carols and maybe even peak in on a Christmas mass. I may not be Christian, but I'm an admirer of their Christmas. And I'll light Hanukkah candles in the peace of my little mezuzah-bearing home here.
