"There's a question in a discussion board in one of my classes about on dating sites and apps, whether the ability sort by race and ethnicity is racist, or not. I've been thinking about it and I'm not yet sure what I think," Emily said as we were standing in the sea at Petra Beach.
"Well, whenever it depends on whether you see things in black and white… well, not racially, but metaphorically. Because whenever you discuss the role of race, it's a spectrum and probably depends on how it impacts others and in what ways." The conversation continued from there.
It was a classically Conlan response that felt somehow comfortable and familiar. Conlan rarely sees things in categories or as having cut and dry answers, but in spectrums and a series of nuanced and often complex interactions. That's one of the things I love about him – he observes and thinks deeply. Even better is that it would be easy to know him for a long time and not know just how well he can deconstruct the universe and life a we know it and advance interesting, thoughtful and even mind blowing insights which drop from his mouth as casually and cool as a drip from a melting ice cube.
Mix that with a deep heart, an aware and curious soul and a solid dash of goodness and you have a recipe for a great person to know and an even better friend to have. Which is why I've always maintained and valued our friendship. What's wonderful is so has he and whether in his living room in Oakland, a cafe in Venice (CA), a road trip to Seattle, our backyard in Westlake Village or on one of the many islands we've found ourselves (Ko Samet, Hong Kong, Bali, Penang, Singapore and now Patmos), Conlan has always gone out of his way to hang out in often inconvenient locales. Of course, the advantage to inconvenient locales is they make for great adventures and stories.
Given Sharon and Conlan's short stay – just Thursday evening through Sunday afternoon – the adventure this round is more limited. But we've managed to see almost every part of Patmos (not the most challenging endeavor), explored Hora, visited the monastery, chilled out at Agriolivadi and Petra beaches and eaten some of the best Patmos has to offer. With such a short window, we make every meal count so far having enjoyed Ostria for seafood, Agriolivadi Taverna for convenience, Flisvos for traditional oven-cooked Greek fare under the stars and overlooking Grikos bay, Ktima Petra for farm-fresh Greek cuisine, Stelio's Gelato, Marechiara Gelato, two bakeries that make pies and Leonidas Taverna overlooking Lampi Beach and the sunset.
But what follows us wherever we go is laughter, fun conversation and an ease found only in longtime friendships. We can toss out one-liners, inside jokes and share observations to get a quick laugh and we can talk about things as deep as love, our goals in life, parenting, marriage and the nature of how race plays into our lives and the spectrum of its different effects. And all of that can take place with and without numerous bottles of ouzo being poured over dinner.
For Emily and me, there's an extra layer of enjoyment to being able to share not only a place we love so much, but one that by the end of the summer feels like home. Our experience here has transcended a summer vacation to become a second home – a place away. One which we're not anxious to leave. The pace and style of life and the beauty of the island are seductive – and we have immersed ourselves in them. Life feels simpler, easier and lighter. Although we live in a smaller space with fewer amenities, drive just one small car and have access to far fewer things to do – life feels richer, perhaps because of the simplicity. Whether its sharing our favorite fresh salads or our beach of choice – we get to bring friends inside this special world we have created for ourselves and that's a treat.
Sennen and Ailyn are between exaltation and despair. They love Conlan and Sharon (especially Sharon) and want to spend all the time they can with them. Sennen of course has tons of questions and things he wants to discuss while Ailyn wants to puppy-dog Sharon and show her anything she thinks is pretty or fun. They also appreciated the Greek pie breakfast we had this morning while enjoying the view from Hora. They do not like when we go out to dinner without them and are even less thrilled that our friends leave tomorrow.
"Why can't they stay longer? Why did they make it so short?" Sennen continues to ask despite our many explanations that this is the time they have to share with us. "It's not fair that you guys get to go out with them without us!" he sometimes adds. Never mind that Matheus gives them movies, gelato and takes them out for fun activities when we're out. Understandably, it's all about Conlan and Sharon.
But what can we do? We'll enjoy our remaining limited time, create a few more memories and help the ouzo makers record a record annual profit.
