Yesterday, the north wind returned to Patmos, dramatically reducing the sweat factor. The wind in Patmos is like the shade in Bali – it can make a shockingly dramatic difference. The temperature that typically hovers around 81 to 83 degrees hasn't changed and the humidity remains at plus or minus 70 percent, but with the breeze, everything feels cooler, lighter. People are visibly more comfortable – servers at restaurants are no longer toiling in the same way. The evening was mild and it was a complete pleasure to be outside.
Just like Mary Poppins, a change in the wind brought a change to our family.
"Matheus has left us at Patmos….again!" Ailyn said as we walked back from the ferry dock (with a stop for gelato). Technically, we parted from Matheus at the Athens Airport in 2019, but we had spent the summer on Patmos before our time with Matheus came to an end.
"Okay, but we were still in Greece and then he went home and said goodbye to us," Ailyn persisted.
Fair enough – the general point is right. Twice have we said goodbye to Matheus from Greece. Only this time, I think the kids feel more confident they will see him again. Luckily for us, Matheus has reappeared twice since no longer being our au pair and has been in regular contact throughout the years. He has helped the kids to see that people can be near and far but remain close and important. One of the great paradoxes of human behavior is how we need shared experiences to build closeness and form foundations, but we can also hold love and connection through time and distance. In some ways we can be together, apart and in others we need consistent presence to function together.
Even in epics and the movies, the story of lovers who wait for one another doesn't always work out. Turning to one of my favorite sappy 90's movies, Legends of The Fall, Julia Ormond's character, Susanna falls deeply in love with Brad Pitt's Tristan. Suffering from PTSD and other trauma following his service in World War I and watching his brother die on the battlefield, Tristan goes a little nuts and travels the world in a psycho/depraved state for several years with no timeline on when he'll return. Susanna waits at his family's Montana ranch until enough years have passed and she finally yields to the quiet courtship of Tristan's brother Alfred (Aidan Quinn) – who she never really loves. When Tristan returns and finally sees Susanna, he understands when she says, "Forever turned out to be too long."
In the end, the human animal is hypersocial and needs connection to thrive, even when the connection isn't necessarily the best quality.
Matheus' success and gift is that he continues to make time and travel distances to create new memories – to continue to create enough experiences to remain real and part of our lives. I believe this is something Matheus instinctively understands in his life and throughout his relationships – he has friendships he maintains across many countries and cultures. He's an investor in the best sense of the word and not surprisingly, is loved by many.
My mom obviously falls into a different category than Matheus. She is a consistent part of her grandchildren's lives both in-person and by phone. They talk frequently and she spends time with them. Sennen, Ailyn and their Bubbee all know one another well. Nonetheless, my mom's time here created additional shared experiences and time in a different context. My hope and intention is that everyone will carry special memories forged in Patmos. The kids can always remember back to when they traveled and spent time with their Bubbee at their Patmos house – and all the fun things we did together.
Also last night, that special shared time came to an end. My mom's ferry left an hour and a half after Matheus' boat. Matheus headed to Kos to grab a flight from there while my mom sailed overnight to Athens where she's currently staying at the Holiday Inn Athens Airport chilling out for the day, resting up for the long flights home tomorrow.
Prior to their departures, yesterday was punctuated with an afternoon at Pleiades – a restaurant overlooking Sapsilla Bay that makes its non-chlorinated freshwater swimming pool available to patrons and an evening watching the very red and orange sunset at Choklakas Beach (one of Matheus' favorite things). It was a day filled with fun and beauty – a very fitting way to end our little group's time together.
At the end of the night – after both ferries departed – Ailyn went to sleep in her own bed for the first time this trip. The kids were in their room together as they had imagined. I went back to my bedroom and the more comfortable bed. And we all slept long and deeply.
We all woke to a much quieter house. Three people in a two-bedroom, one-bath house is a different thing than five. Sennen and I had a slow, lazy couple of hours until I decided to wake Ailyn at roughly 11:00. While we so appreciated the time we spent with my mom and Matheus, there was something wonderful about waking up in our house, just the three of us. We were just us again.
One thing about a summer like this is you can't be on vacation full-time. There is such a thing as too much beach and too much swimming. In 2019, the kids needed a day off from the beach every three or so days. This time, they went a week of swimming daily before it became too much. They easily agreed on a day just hanging out at home – I think in no small part just to claim the house as home. The house has changed so much since last year and is now a lot more comfortable. They haven't yet had a chance just to sit in it for a day. So between the beach fatigue, the general fatigue and the need to root, the kids opted for a day of nothing. We all need a day of nothing sometimes – and it is summer break. So nothing – or almost nothing – it has been.
Sennen's one goal is to use the built-in barbecue in the front yard for the first time. So our one sortie for the day was to gather the necessary items for a barbecue dinner meaning we went to the butcher, produce shop, pie bakery (for my lunch) and grocery store. Sennen learned the ropes of the local shops so in the future he might do some of these errands himself.
Otherwise it has been lunch, relaxing on the sofa, some screen time, laundry, cats, talking and laughing. We are at rest.
Today's challenges will be how to season the kebabs and if what I perceive to be lighter fluid really does the job….
Tomorrow we can resume our regularly scheduled beach days and Patmos summer life. And we'll do it just the three of us - as we've come to do so well.
