It is not only the best of times and the worst of times, but the most packed of times.
My father passed away three weeks ago. The eight weeks prior he had become acutely ill, spending six weeks in a hospital, one in a skilled nursing facility and two at home before passing the day after beginning hospice. What can best be described as the complications of Muscular Dystrophy – a lifelong ailment – caught up with him and he spiraled suddenly. His memorial Celebration of Life will be next week.
Meanwhile, we are in the midst of the end-of-the-school-year season with school concerts, plays, open houses and other assorted events littered all over the calendar. Ailyn’s birthday and party is a week from today – June 6th. Sennen’s birthday two days later – June 8th – the day after my dad’s memorial and more significantly, his Bar Mitzvah will be the following weekend – June 13th. Ailyn will graduate elementary school June 10th and Sennen will finish 7th grade the same day.
Did I mention Sennen and I are also baking all the desserts for the Bar Mitzvah party?
On June 12th, we’ll inherit Ethan Soria – one of Sennen’s closest friends – for five weeks since he will be coming with us to Patmos for which we leave June 15th – the Monday after the Bar Mitzvah. That means that in the background of all the other events, we’ve also been getting ready for what will amount to 4.5 weeks on Patmos.
If my life was a movie, it would easily be Everything Everywhere All At Once.
Or, perhaps better framed by the words of a yoga teacher I enjoy, “Life is in Session”.
There are so many events and emotions to get through in the next two weeks. We will do them all – and then adjourn to our other home where God willing, we can bask in the glow of a wonderful simcha – and things will be a little less eventful.
Of course, even Patmos isn’t a complete bubble and both the world and we have changed in the past ten months.
The front yard has been re-landscaped. The patchy lawn has given away to a Mediterranean garden with gravel and banks of potted flowers. I expect this will make the front yard far more usable and we’ll spend some time thinking about lights, decor and furnishings for our newly reclaimed space. The kids want to try showing outdoor movies and inviting local friends. That is, when Ailyn isn’t distraught that tearing up the lawn may have destroyed the psychological wellbeing of Ketchup, our cat who likes to lay in the grass. I’m hoping reuniting with the cats allays Ailyn’s fears.
Thankfully, I bought our tickets – airline and ferry – in February before the Iran War sent fares skyrocketing. However, the Patmos power plant runs off either diesel or gas – so I have to imagine this year’s electric bill is going to hurt. On the other hand, Patmos may be less busy than in years past. I’ve heard from locals there are fewer visitors thus far in the season and one of my Airbnb bookings for September has cancelled. On an island where everything arrives by ferry, I have to imagine things will cost more this year.
Happily, the kids – which now include Ethan – are coming the first half of the summer, which is always less busy, cooler and has lower prices for things like car, motorscooter and sunbed rentals. Less crowded beaches are always more enjoyable – and we’ll avoid the Italian influx too. To quote Friar Lawrence, “There art thou happy.”
Then there’s the third kid. Last summer, Sennen kept talking about how fun it would be to share Patmos with a buddy. While Sennen has many wonderful friends, choosing one for a 4.5 week overseas adventure is no small thing. Ethan’s father is a Navy Captain who was reassigned from Port Hueneme to San Diego last summer. Sennen went from seeing Ethan at religious school and temple – and at sleepovers at each other’s homes – to really missing his buddy. Certainly 4.5 weeks is a good amount of time to share. And Ethan was born in Japan, has moved around a few times and has traveled broadly. Add in his mild temperament and general maturity for a 13-year-old and he was our ideal candidate for a summer companion – made easier by my wonderful relationship with his parents. Not every kid would want to go across the world with another family and not every family would allow their kid to go across the world with another family. We were lucky to find a situation that seems to work for everyone.
Where does this leave Ailyn? A little uneasy, to be honest. She likes Ethan. She likes the idea of Sennen and Ethan going out and about around Skala. She doesn’t want to be the third wheel at the beach and has made that clear to Sennen. Then there’s the fact that thirteen-year-old boys are stinky, wild, weird creatures who make a lot of noise and with whom you don’t really want to share a bathroom.
That said, if she has to deal with another thirteen-year-old boy, Ethan’s probably top on Ailyn’s list. Moreover, Ailyn knows that what Sennen gets this year, Ailyn gets another and her desire to take one of her friends in the future is worth paying the piper.
I’m optimistic we’ll find our equilibrium and enjoy a great Patmos summer. Patmos may not be completely free of the cares of the world – and our problems may find us wherever we go – but somehow fewer of them find their way to our remote, small 13 square mile island in the Dodecanese. Even with war, inflation and the turbulence of life at home – I suspect we’ll still find peace and good times at Agriolivadi and Petra.
Now it’s just getting from here to there. We have the sunscreen and new insulated water bottles from Costco. I’ve bought all the baking ingredients. The Celebration of Life is arranged. Bar Mitzvah photos are Tuesday. Things are coming together. It’s going to be a REALLY MEANINGFUL time in a very short window.
Life is indeed in session now. On Patmos, it can take a recess.
