On Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, the successor to Mr Rogers’ Neighborhood, the characters created by Fred Rogers live on in animated form – focusing on emotional intelligence for young children.
Important lessons are taught in sing-song phrases repeated throughout an episode – sometimes multiple episodes. Naturally, they seem simple and childlike to most adults and certainly older children – but in my opinion, a lot of them are brilliant – both because they meet young children where they live and they are important truths.
“Sometimes you have two feelings at the same time, and that’s okay.” is one of those little ditties.
I honestly don’t remember anyone saying that or anything like it to me as a child. No one said anything to the contrary, either. Yet the simple phrase validates and normalizes feeling torn and having mixed feelings – things we experience a lot. Daniel Tiger gives us permission to accept inner conflict as a normal part of life.
Tangentially, two things can be true. Multiple things can be true. And we can sit with our complex, sometimes irreconcilable emotions – because that’s normal and we’re allowed.
Over the past three days, I have been channeling my inner Daniel Tiger to support the kids. While I don’t say things in cute, pithy, sing-song phrases, I basically paraphrase Daniel Tiger a lot.
“It sounds like you want to be in two places at one – I think we all feel like that sometimes. Maybe even more than two places.”
“I get it, you want two things you can’t do at the same time. Who hasn’t felt that way. I feel that way right now.”
I always let the kids know that I miss them when they’re not with me AND I’m happy for all the experiences they have with their mom – and their time with their mom is of course, very important. So I can miss them – because I love them and always want to share time with them – and be happy they are getting other important things in their lives. For me, it’s the ultimate two feelings at the same time – and I think it’s not only important for them to know – but it makes sure they know I don’t live some secret second life where I’m happy when the door closes behind them. I also don’t need their empathy or for them to worry – their job isn’t to take care of me or my feelings. It’s finding that balance – and knowing we can feel multiple things helps.
All of that to say, Sennen, Ailyn and Ethan want to stay on Patmos and they don’t. They all have things they’re looking forward to. They just don’t want to get on the ferry.
“This is a pretty nice place. It doesn’t feel real here,” Ethan said as we drove home from Petra today.
That hits the nail on the head.
But, just as Trolley transports viewers from Mr Rogers house to the Neighborhood of Make Believe and back – so the Blue Star 2 will come tonight at 1 am to transport us from Patmos to the outside world.
From there, to quote Sarah McLachlan, “It’s a long way down….”
Only we all have things to look forward to. Ethan is looking forward to getting back to his family, eating sushi and hamburgers and playing soccer. Sennen and Ailyn have a week with at their grandparents’ timeshare in Carlsbad – something they haven’t been to in several years and are very happy to rejoin – along with many other things including a cruise, redecorating their rooms, time with their Bubbee, seeing friends, cooking classes and more.
As for me, while I would always rather be with my kids, I can make use of five weeks to myself. The months prior to Patmos were intense. I have tasks, relationships and emotions to catch-up on. I also have a few things around this house I want to get done and without the need for daily beach days, I’ll be better able to tend my garden – literally and figuratively.
In just a couple of hours we sail. My big backpack has never traveled so empty – just carrying a few changes of clothes for me to make it until I return Sunday morning and whatever clothes and treasures the kids couldn’t fit into their bags. At least for me, Patmos summer hasn’t ended. I can leave my everyday belongings here – at the house where I feel most at home. My heart may be full – but my batteries aren’t. It will be good to return, repair and revitalize. I’m not done yet.
But first, Patmos to Athens overnight, a 12:30pm flight to Chicago, four hour layover, three-and-a-half hour flight to Los Angeles. two nights and one full-day in Westlake and then back only via Istanbul and a midnight ferry from Athens. When will the next blog post be? I’m not quite sure. Things are about to get both boring and interesting – because sometimes you feel two feelings at the same time and that’s okay.
