Foundational Acceptance and Sublime Curiosity

For the average Westerner, Thailand can be surprising, shocking and lead to all sorts of questions as they encounter a significantly different culture and society. Why do some things work mysteriously well despite appearing to have all the room in the world for disaster while other things we consider our societies to have solved remain ongoing challenges – or in some cases, just not prioritized the way we think they should be?

This set of questions can really be applied in some way to a wide variety of specific examples and situations. These are the questions we expect and they can lead the asker toward an array of outcomes including mild amusement, excitement, revulsion, discomfort, joy, despair, elation, devastation, growth and in a few select cases, a mental health practitioner. I have seen it all.

But these are not the questions or reactions of children – at least not ours. To our constant amazement, the kids fundamentally accept some of the things that seem the most different or "crazy" in Thailand. Motorcycle taxis, tuk tuks, street food vendors, crazy wrapped and hanging everywhere electrical wires on the street, a strange language, Buddha statues, Buddhist temples… these things don't phase them and they act as if they have experienced it everyday of their lives.

But other things can lead to a black hole of questions that can span anywhere from 10 minutes to the length of our trip. The Bangkok Sky Train (an elevated light rail train), why outdoor markets are divided into sections, Uber, massages, deck chairs, short-term rental/Airbnb, the cleanliness of public park fences/walls, or the difference between a private or publicly used shuttle van are all things they process over and over again.

Then there are the understandable quandaries. 

Why can we bathe in the tap water, but only drink bottled? Why are there no seatbelts in so many vehicles here? Why do so many people ride motorcycles when they aren't safe? Why would a Buddhist monk smoke? Why are there so many pictures of the king and why do they love him so much? Why do people drive full-size cars down the narrow sois (side streets)? Why are songthaews (covered pickup trucks with benches) the only taxis on Ko Chang, but in Chiang Mai and Bangkok they have tuk tuts, taxis and Ubers – and don't really use songthaews that much? Why are there so many kinds of rice and how do you know what each one is called?

They get more depthful too.

"That's mean!" Sennen said with disgust when Emily answered his question about what Thais do with bodies after they die. He had never heard of cremation before and considered it a terrible act to do to someone's body. Emily and I stopped what we were doing and sat down for the conversation – which took place by the Bang Bao pier in Ko Chang, on the steps of a closed hat shop on which Sennen was eating a Nutella crepe. Like two surgeons called into the ER for an emergency, we quickly addressed cultural differences, Buddhism, cremation and how it's a valid option for many people in our own country – and of course that it doesn't hurt the person because their soul has moved on.

Nonetheless, Sennen has a new topic to broach with his favorite rabbi.

Also on the religious front was why Thai people pray to the Buddha and why do they need so many of them? Why are elephants so revered in Thailand?

Ailyn on the other hand has had understandable struggles with change and defining "home". She didn't want to leave our Chiang Mai house after settling in and feeling comfortable in it and then the same happened with the house on Ko Chang, "But I love our Ko Chang vacation house. It makes me happy. I want stay here…" And now she's very happy with our hotel – which she considers a house as well – and has no interest in returning to America. 

Sennen explored that idea too. What would happen if we did decide to live here? So we discussed who and what we would miss – and more or less it came down to the very reasons why Emily and I chose to settle in the Los Angeles area instead of somewhere fantastic abroad – family, friends and access to a Jewish life. So in some rudimentary way, Sennen began to understand his parents choices as well as laments – because we too like beaches, sticky rice, tuk tuks and outdoor markets.

It's interesting to watch it all swirl in their heads and see them work at constructing a worldview.

This morning's breakfast sort of told the tale. Our hotel includes a beautiful buffet breakfast each morning with both Western and Eastern fare (largely geared toward Chinese guests). Our kids surveyed the options and asked for, "Fried noodles, bacon and pancakes" which was eventually joined by sliced pineapple, papaya and watermelon – and eventually Thai chicken sausages and some scrambled eggs. 

But my favorite part of today was our long-tail boat ride down the Chao Praya river and the khlongs, or canals of Bangkok. While certainly one of the most classically touristy and overpriced things to do in Bangkok, the long-tail ride is always interesting and great for any first-time visitor, especially kids. After we discussed in GREAT DETAIL the workings of the locks that rise and lower the boats to go between main river and the khlongs, the kids enjoyed the breeze as we whizzed through the historical backwaters of Bangkok saying things like, "Who lives there?", "These temples are beautiful!" and "Look at that giant Buddha! It's so tall!" And Emily and I just smiled.