Parting, Sweetness And Sorrow

"I really like being in Patmos. I like living here. I wish we could stay here forever," Sennen said while walking to the supermarket. I think we all feel that way – none of us are really ready to go home and resume our normal life. However, this morning, waking up to news of the second mass shooting of the week – this time in El Paso with at least 20 dead, I had a moment when I thought about it seriously for a moment.

We've reached a point where hearing about a mass shooting is becoming commonplace news in America. How can anyone not worry at least a little when walking through an airport, attending a concert, shopping in a mall, shopping at Trader Joe's, attending college, going to a nightclub, visiting a hospital or worst of all, dropping your child off at school. Some of our most sanctified spaces – such as hospitals and schools – are statistically likely targets. The only commonality between these shootings seems to be angry, mostly white men who have found mass shooting to be a way to release their pain and anger. Ironically, we don't have the "peace of mind" of 9-11 where there was a clear enemy, a face to the wrongdoer who had a motivation and purpose. The shooters have all kinds of motivations and issues  - they're just using the same terrible methodology. They are suffering from the same disease – one that has ungodly, terribly consequences for the rest of us. As Noah Yuval Harari points out in 21 Lessons for the 21st Century in a world where the social contract of the state is to prevent violence from being part of the public space, random violence like this represents a failure of the state – and creates social and political instability. As a country, we owe it to ourselves, our children and our future to begin curbing this serious social ill before it becomes our undoing.

Looking out the window at the monastery and Hora on the top of the hill and Skala below – all shining in the morning light – Greece didn't looked like more than a magical place to spend the summer, but perhaps a place to keep my children safe and well – to raise them in peace and not worry about whether they'll come home from school alive. So what if the school doesn't challenge them or they need supplementary or private education – I'd like them to grow up and sadly, it occurred to me that they might have a better chance here.

This became a topic over breakfast at Petrino in the town square. While the kids who had ordered omelets just like Sharon decided that constituted an "omelet club" of which Sharon was a part and had an in-depth conversation about what Omelet Club should be about and the responsibilities of its members – Emily, Conlan and I discussed (partly in code) shootings and what's going on with our society. Emily brought up concepts of masculinity and hyper-masculinity in our society, what we expect of men and how we raise our boys. Conlan brought up that it's a complex set of factors and not a single-solution phenomenon that will require many different steps, each addressing aspects of the issue to begin to make a dent. I lamented the that no centralized voice or leadership has yet helped coalesce a national conversation around what is happening and how we go about addressing it. We are in a place of crisis with a vacuum of leadership. 

Given that, it was a great moment to have someone as thoughtful and insightful as Conlan with whom to sort through it. And while it made for a fairly heavy conversation for our final breakfast together, it was a depthful one – which are always the best with him.

The rest of the day, fortunately was much lighter with Ailyn picking out a belled/charmed belly dancing shawl for herself with Sharon's help. Ailyn insisted on a girls' only shopping trip and later worked on her belly dancing moves with Sharon while we waited for Sharon and Conlan's ferry to Rhodes.  Both kids managed to engage Sharon and Conlan in playing with never-drying modeling clay – eventually creating a ball for playing catch. We enjoyed a delicious Greek breakfast, picked up ferry tickets from the local agent's office, snagged the last tahini pie for Conlan and Sharon to take on the ferry and hung out and joked around at the departing ferry passenger waiting area. 

It was a great morning that followed an equally great evening watching the sunset from Leonidas Taverna overlooking Lampi Beach, enjoying a fantastic multi-course dinner involving two plates of flaming saganaki, several other mezzes and grilled entrees including Emily's favorite calamari. And of course three bottles of ouzo – of which I partake of none… There was lots of laughter, fun and depthful moments throughout dinner followed by a late night walk and shopping in Skala.

"Conlan, Conlan, the ferry is really close! It's getting really close! There's not much time!" Sennen shouted, I assumed telling him that it was time to gather his bags and walk out onto the dock. Instead, Sennen grabbed his blue ball of clay and ran over to Conlan for a final round of catch. Then Sharon and Conlan were allowed to board.

After days of good times, parting was both happy and sad. We had nothing but fun which no one wanted to end, but at the same time, Conlan and Sharon's Greek adventure needed to continue and Rhodes is a very different, interesting and cool place to explore next. Saying goodbye is always made easier by the fact that with truly good friends, we can just look forward to next time which will likely be sooner, but will absolutely include their wedding next June!