Que Sera Sera

$4000. I thought for sure it was a mistake. Maybe it was just Singapore Airlines. I checked Travelocity to see other airlines. It was no mistake. $4,000 roundtrip for Los Angeles to Singapore. 

For a day I spun explanations and rationalizations in my head. It was late July – they airlines hadn't yet come up with their more competitive winter airfares….? Everyone loves Singapore Airlines! Only it wasn't just them. Maybe it was just a lot of travel to Singapore and other Southeast Asian countries would price better? Not by more than $200. Maybe mileage would solve this problem?! But United wanted an unusually large amount of it.

How could I have my first Winter Break with just me and the kids – and break our tradition of traveling to Southeast Asia? After all, Sennen had been asking for time in Singapore and wanting to go back to Thailand – or see Borneo like I did last winter when I didn't have the kids. In the year following divorce, it's easy to feel guilty. How could I fail at taking my kids to Singapore? I even toyed with stomaching $12,000 – but I just couldn't.

Then, in a Petra Beach inspired moment, the idea hit me: what if we went the other way? What if instead of escaping winter, we leaned into it this year? What wintery place would the kids like and I could feel comfortable taking them on my own? The answer was obvious – as was the corresponding $1,700 airfare: France. Best yet, it didn't cost anything more to fly into Nice and out of Paris on an open-jaw.

When I got home to Westlake mid-August and had the kids again, I sat them down and timidly asked how they would feel about our Winter Break being different this year? I told them Singapore was SO expensive this year and that I was sorry, but we needed to choose something else. How would they feel about France?

"YES!!!!" They simultaneously yelled. They cheered and whooped for a minute before stopping to ask where in France – wanting to know that Paris would be included. Then they returned to cheering. I reminded them that it would be winter – and we would need jackets, hats, scarves and gloves. It wouldn't be playing on the beach and tropical warmth like we're used to on Winter Break. They were clear that France trumped weather – and besides, it would be something new.

"I've always wanted to see Paris! My whole life! I want to go to the Eiffel Tower of Paris!" Ailyn exclaimed. 

So the plans were made and the long countdown between August and December began.

Yet, here we are in December – only 11 days before our departure date. The excitement has been building. And while thee Eiffel Tower is not my favorite thing about Paris – France is a country a very much enjoy. I've been on my own pre-marriage, on my own during marriage (I needed a place in Europe to hangout while Emily went home for two weeks for our nieces' birthday parties during the year we traveled around the world) and with Emily during marriage (and Sennen in utero). Now, I get to take both kids myself and for the first time doing an international trip with them solo, France is an ideal place. I speak the language, know the cities (Cannes and Paris), love the culture and things are relatively easy – nice streets, ubiquitous transportation, clean environments and systems that function more like home than not (especially compared to say, Thailand or Sarawak). We have chic Airbnb apartments to stay in and reservations for Christmas Eve and New Year's dinners. How rough does it get?

In Asia, I can write tomes comparing and contrasting Singapore and Malaysia. Or Thailand and Laos. Then of course there's the comparison so many writers, historians and economists like – Singapore and Hong Kong which fit into the Jeopardy category of "Formerly British First World Powerhouse Islands on The South China Sea". But the comparison I enjoy most – for its deeper truth – is France and Bali the two cultures I know that most revere beauty and lifestyle. 

While practically unconnected in any way – Bali and France both had enough abundance to be able to turn their eyes to things not just past mere survival, but that move up Maslow's hierarchy of needs to higher levels of satisfaction and awareness. Bali is blessed with fertile volcanic soil, abundant water, ubiquitous fruit and the incredible foresight to have built a complex and penetrating irrigation system more than 600 years ago – such that farmers across most of the island can easily raise rice. France is blessed with lots of flat, arid land and slow flowing rivers that also made irrigation and farming easy many hundreds of years ago. After all, how well off do you have to be on calories to be able to seriously cultivate lettuce as a crop?

A study I read some 20 years ago said that the Balinese spend an average of 30 percent of their time working and 70 percent on art, religion, community and family. These things are interwoven. Art is required for worship and worship requires communities. Families play different roles in their villages and each village has its own schedule of important ceremonies – in which each person plays a part. With painting, egg painting, kites, wood carving, dance, gamelan music, puppetry, mask making, Ikat and Batik fabrics, blanket making, stone carving, furniture making – in additional to what nature already provides including wafts of flowers in the air – beauty is all around.

Despite completely different origins and circumstances, Bali and France's direction toward art and beauty has a common thread: monarchies who valued art and architecture. The Hindu Majaphit Dynasty fled to Bali from Java as muslim rulers won wars to take its land. The Majaphits were able to secure Bali – a much smaller island – and wanted nothing more than to be left alone in peace. They built several large, ornate and beautiful Hindu temples in locations conspicuous to passing ships to tell them Bali was prosperous, strong and Hindu.

French kings as early as the Merovingians felt secure enough in their military strength and fortunes to switch from fortified medieval castles to the chateaux of the Loire Valley – a distinct step up in quality of life. Much like Italy, even among its enemies, France's art and architecture were envied by other European rulers – many of whom sat in dank castles with hordes of villagers sleeping each night in their halls. 

French monarchs hired master builders and architects like Le Brun, Le Notre, Le Vau and Haussman to create palaces and cities of such beauty that even Hitler's breath was taken away. Just as master architects built temples to keep muslim invaders at bay and Balinese proud of their island and identities. For both cultures, the epitome of success was and is to be surrounded by beauty and to bring the heavens down to earth. There is no need to transcend when life itself is a transcendent experience.

To me, that's the joy of France – the appreciation of life itself. No matter the difficulties and challenges, one must never forget the pleasantries and little joys that nod to the sweetness of life. Even better is that the French aren't naive – the sweetness of life includes appreciation of all its flavors, textures, colors and shades. Appreciating bitter foods is important. Art and literature that express darkness and despair important. But the truths they bring out – the very fact of the spectrum of feelings, colors and ideas – that is the beauty and the greater sweetness. And of course there are the patisseries.

There are no amount of words that really convey what France is trying to say, though. You can only get it through experience – and so I'm excited to see what Sennen and Ailyn take from France. Maybe they'll understand what their dad sees? Maybe they'll see something else and teach me? Maybe we'll all eat bouche noels, cheeses we've never heard of and geek out at the jail cell of the Man in the Iron Mask on the Ile St Lerins just off Cannes….? 

One thing I've learned in traveling with my kids is that it doesn't matter the pace or even which sites we see. They will absorb what they choose to absorb and they'll do it best if our pace is manageable to them. They soak up both essence and details – though maybe not always the ones I would want a friend or family member to see. So far, I've never been disappointed – where we've gone has shaped who Sennen and Ailyn are and their worldviews are interesting at worst and fascinating at best. 

How will France change them? How will France change us? That's the adventure.

And it all starts on December 20th with a long flight on the upper deck of an A380 – which in and of itself makes the trip exciting to the kids. 

Que sera sera.