Sawasdee Pi Mai, Again!

It's not often we get to start start and end the year in Thailand – but in 2018, we did. Our family rung 2018 in with Arielle in Ko Chang and completed the year with Matheus in Khao Lak – both times on the beach. Only this year, we thought out our New Year's plans a little more fully and signed up for a New Year's party put on by Memories Bar – a local beach club.

There we enjoyed included drinks, appetizers, a fantastic buffet dinner of authentic Thai food, live music, dancing on the beach, fire twirling shows and best of all – releasing paper lanterns into the air with our wishes for 2019.

This is something I haven't seen done for the secular New Year before in Thailand. This seems to be an adaptation of Northern Thailand's Yi Peng holiday celebration which in modern times has been fused with the kingdom-wide celebration of Loi Krathong – in which candles are floating down rivers and lakes, or fire-powered lanterns released into the sky. The symbolism of letting go and making a wish needs no explanation to foreigners who love the entire process of firing up the balloons and having their moment on the beach to reflect, wish and watching their lanterns float over the Andanman Sea. Many of the Khao Lak New Year's celebrations seem to have replaced fireworks with this much more interactive, elegant and quite way to light up the night sky.

Not surprisingly, our kids thoroughly enjoyed their evening from the dinner, to relishing their coconut ice creams to partying on the beach. Sennen spent a good portion of the night digging in the sand, making "sand powder" while Ailyn hit the dance floor and worked hard at a non-verbal, intercultural friendship with a little girl whose father was the event photographer. The relationship seemed to have its challenges, but Ailyn stayed right with it – looking to enter the little girl's world even though her new "friend" was far less committed to the relationship. 

Ailyn also spent lots of time dancing with Emily and pretending to eat my face (the Hannibal Lecter side of her personality).

The fact that we ended 2018 watching a fire show and let go of burning lanterns seemed a twist of irony. One of the most notable events in our community was a fire of more than 100,000 acres in a metropolitan area which at best displaced us and most people we know for awhile – while in 400 worst cases, families lost their homes. We were among the most fortunate who had nearby family with a home out of harm's away open to us – and an unscathed home to return to when the evacuation was lifted. Plenty of people struggled with temporary accommodations – roving Southern California often as a multi-generational caravan. Others came back to homes in need of cleaning and remediation. So while fire was displayed in a very controlled way tonight, it was hard not to think about how much of a role uncontrolled fire played in not just Southern California – but the much more deadly and destructive fires of Northern California in 2018.

The other topic on Emily and my mind today was water. The story that so many in Khao Lak like to keep quiet is that in 2004, the tsunami that hit the entire radius of the Indian Ocean came plowing into Khao Lak at more than 700 miles per hour standing between 65 and 100 feet tall. Thousands died and the town was totaled.

Looking around today, you wouldn't know it – except for one major change: the many, large resorts. Noting that only concrete structures survived the tsunami, Khao Lak made a bold gambit to shift from a beach area with lots of bungalow lodging operations popular with backpackers and budget travelers to solidly built hotels and resorts – requiring a lot more capital investment and securing the right clientele – all in the aftermath of massive devastation.

Somehow they did it – and Khao Lak is a much more high-end destination today – bringing greater prosperity to its community.

"The tsunami is over and done. It was a long time ago now and we are stronger and better today," said Mr. Ple, one of our sangthaew drivers. Mr. Ple grew up and has lived in this area his entire life. Before the tsunami he worked in a hotel. Now he drives his own sangthaew taxi and not only makes more, but works less. Given the high rate for taxis here in Khao Lak, he probably makes as much as he did at his old job if he gives a ride or two per day.

"Life here is very good. Look at how beautiful it is! We live in one of the most beautiful places and there are always foreigners with money coming here. We have a great economy. This is the best part of Thailand to live," my optimistic friend said.

From my own conversations and observations, I'm not sure everyone would agree.

My masseuse from Wednesday who gave straight-laced, classic monk-style Thai massages leaves her family – including her 10 year-old daughter –  in Chiang Mai in the north of Thailand for four to six months a year to come to Khao Lak to work the busy season. She doesn't have any friends or family here aside from co-workers and massaging, "fat, lazy Germans" doesn't seem to be her thing. That said, she can't pass up the money it brings her family.

Mr. Thip, our favorite sangthaew taxi driver due to his kindness and warmth, speaks amazing English for anyone in Thailand, but especially for a sangthaew driver. Apparently Mr. Thip used to work in the Thai offices of a major British IT company – where he reported to a British boss in London. He spoke on the phone with his boss daily and had to use English throughout his work. When the company closed their Phuket offices, Mr. Thip made a career shift into sangthaew ownership. Now he does well enough to support his family the way he wants, but perhaps not doing what he loves anymore. Like Mr. Ple, Mr. Thip grew up near Khao Lak and sees the area positively.

The man who cleans the bathrooms at the Kokulo Beach Club also comes from this area, but may not see it quite as positively. He grew up poor and went only to Thai public school, never getting any real education in English. Now in his late forties/early fifties, he continually cleans the restrooms and showers of the beach club to make them spotless despite the barrage of sandy and wet feet. So used to being invisible, the cleaning man was shocked when I asked him how he was – in Thai no less. He asked numerous questions to figure me out and in turn, I learned a little about him. Being far from complacent, the cleaning man has decided that since he never learned English properly in the first place, his best path to advancement is to learn German which is a valuable skill to have in Khao Lak. He uses a translation app in his phone to look up words and is trying to communicate with German guests. He found one willing to tutor him a few times a week. 

The massage therapist I've seen for the last few days is one of the best I've ever had, anywhere. Like the aforementioned masseuse, Thip comes from Northern Thailand – but from Nong Khai more to the east in the Isaan provinces – on the border with Laos. But unlike the Chiang Mai lady, Thip is younger – late 20's to early 30's with no separation from spouse or child weighing her down. A few years ago, she had an. unnamed American ex-basketball player who came to her for a massage. She said back was causing him terrible pain and he worked on him for weeks. When it was over, his pain was greatly reduced and mobility increased – so much so that his wife came and giver Thip a sizable tip, in thanks for improvement of her martial sex life. Thip took that tip and invested in real massage school – learning the kind of massage therapy we teach in the US, not just the routines common to most Thai masseuses and masseurs. "I wanted to be great at it because I knew I could be. And I knew I needed education," Thip told me. She is great at it and is the only Thai massage-giver I have ever had diagnose knots and trouble-spots, let alone comment how if she could get this spot where I've clearly been storing tension for a long time to release, everything else in my back would feel better. "You will feel 25 years-old again!" But for all of this, she still works at a generic Thai massage parlor among many on a small street in a touristy area. Because capital is a hard thing to come by and she's still building experience. So the best way to solve both problems is to work far from home and family – where there's paying work.

At the end of the year, when it's time to reflect – it's good to remember that we (meaning my family, but also most of our friends and family reading this blog) face real and difficult challenges. Within limits. In our middle-class American existence where most of us own our homes, have two cars, send our kids to good schools and never worry about how we'll afford to feef our families – we are the privileged elite, living better than 95% of the globe. We don't always feel that way when we're in the weeds of our lives. But we are – and only because we won the great cosmic lottery – we were on the right side of a stroke of fate that had us born to these parents in this place instead of those parents in that one.

Also, the people I've just mentioned live in an exotic place and do work that may even seem exotic – driving vehicles we never see in our country, for example. But any differences between here and home are strictly cosmetic. Their lives are not exotic in any way. Theirs are the same human struggles people in our country, and our communities face daily. Struggles that are easier to recognize in a very different place, like Thailand, than they are in familiar ones.

But moreover, the people I have met here remind me that everything I have – every success in my life was made possible by those who came before me. I stand on their shoulders. My great-grandparents came to America has poor immigrants who didn't know the language and who mostly lacked useful education. My grandparents were first generation Americans who elevated themselves out of the Depression and War to become solid, integrated middle-class Americans who sent their children to college and spoiled their grandchildren. My parents worked to give me the education and privileged suburban life I grew up with and am in turn giving to my children. As did Emily's parents and grandparents. We were empowered to live our dreams and choose our way. Moreover, we live openly as Jews with every privilege and right available, and without fear. Our great-grandparents and grandparents – and even parents – gave us what they could not get for themselves. We stand on a pinnacle of their making.

With these thoughts of gratitude for the massive blessings we have as we exit 2018, we want to wish our family and friends at home – and around the world – a wonderful 2019. 

Sawasdee Pi Mai!