What would you do with only one day left in Borneo? It's almost a magical problem to have because how many of us get any days in Borneo? If you've already had five, one more is almost greedy, a bit like a second dessert. Jacob and I had already gone to the heart of Borneo and seen and experienced what we really came for. Whatever we did with the day would have to be in Kuching – which was great because Kuching itself is a pretty and kind of enchanted little town posing as a city.
Without any discussion about it, Jacob and I agreed on having a slow morning, getting up when we each were ready and enjoying the comforts of our Airbnb condo over the Vivacity Mall (yes, it's an entire luxury condo complex over a large mall). We got sleep, enjoyed the nice showers of our respective bathrooms again, talked to people at home and packed our bags – minus room for all the laundry being de-jungled downtown.
Anyone who has spent any time in Asian cities gets familiar with malls – which play a very important role, especially in Southeast Asia. Malls are free air conditioning, places of gathering, the location of supermarkets and dry cleaners, places for snacks and dining, and where families spend significant leisure time. Once we checked out and stored our bags for the day, Jacob and I made the surprising choice to spend a little time on the basement floor of the Vivacity Mall where much of the grab-and-go food is sold. There are so many unusual and unique foods that Jacob began doing "Bourdain-esque" short videos trying some the night before – and we continued them in the morning, coming back to the foods we most wanted to try or thought would make the most interesting videos. Let's just say that Cheeto-encrusted mozzarella sticks on a stick made for good viewing as did deep fried chicken breast covered in gobs of cheese.
But spending the day in a mall would be a waste of Borneo – and besides, we had laundry to collect in the afternoon. So we went to Chinatown – which turned out not to be much of a Chinatown at all. Like most Chinatowns, the Chinese immigrants of the 19th and 20th centuries often started new lives clustered together along Carpenter Street, just a block off the Sarawak River. Many generations have passed and today's Chinese-Malaysians are a significant part of the Malaysian – and Sarawak population, no longer what anyone would consider an immigrant group. So Carpenter Street is no longer very Chinese and notably had a lot of Malay businesses and eateries.
On the other side of the Old Court House, Little India proved to be no more Indian than Chinatown was Chinese. Again, what was once an immigrant group has long become a significant minority of a new nationality. Indian-Malaysians aren't fresh-off-the-boat anymore and have largely left Little India. We found only one Indian-run shop and one Indian restaurant (which was very good).
But the streets along the riverfront itself were the most interesting. Between scads of shops selling tourist chatchkes and bakeries featuring Cek Lapis – multilayered Malay pastries in a variety of flavors and colors – a few dealers of Sarawak art and artifacts exist with some of the most beautiful and interesting things we've seen. One shop in particular was curated more like a museum than anything else and featured items from a Sarawak gone by – Peranakan art and sculpture; Dayak carvings, masks and jewelry; and most amazingly – a dragon jar.
During the 18th Century Qing Dynasty traders brought what they likely considered perfectly ordinary tall ceramic jars ornamented with dragons to Borneo only to discover the Dayak tribes went crazy for them. In fact, the Dayaks believed the jars contained powerful spirits and in many cases worshiped them. The jars became valuable and were used as a rudimentary currency – being worth the value of a slave. The dragon jars were believed to have the energy of life itself and so, in effect trading a jar for a slave was trading a life for a life. Since most Dayaks have subsequently become Christian, they no longer worship the dragon jars – but the jars remain their most valuable family heirlooms and are often where they might store their valuables. Selling a dragon jar is something a Dayak family would rarely do. Hence to see two up close (one at each of two different shops) was a special treat.
After our last rounds in Kuching, Jacob and I picked up our very clean and pleasant laundry and hauled it back to the mall where our bags were stored, found a corner where we were unobtrusive and sorted out our laundry and packed it away. We got some boba teas, made one last video and headed to the airport to return to Singapore where we are spending the night the Crowne Plaza Changi Airport so we can easily make our morning flights home.
From there the details become less interesting.
At the end of a trip like this, I find myself struggling to make it coalesce into one message, theme or meaning. There were three weeks and three major locations. At first I was solo, then alternating between time to myself and time socializing until finally I was with my cousin and friend (and a French couple and guide too) everyday. I was in major cities and islands – one with beautiful beaches and the other with lush jungles. I spent time in three places I knew well (Bangkok, Ko Samet and Singapore) and one that was not only new but a dream fulfilled. What does it all mean? Maybe nothing.
Perhaps the question isn't what it all means or what beautiful lesson can I take from this journey – as I have often been able to divine from other journeys – but what purpose does this journey serve? From that perspective, I can see it as part of something bigger – a piece of a larger process of change in my life. Maybe this trip is part of a larger healing journey? Maybe this trip is part of how I redefine myself and my life? Perhaps it's just a reprieve that makes a divorce and all the trappings of a career, kids and volunteer work manageable? It could be all of the above and more….
I would like to think it's something seminal – maybe a bend I turn or a moment I reframe. So much in life comes down to perspective. We can all watch the same event and come away with drastically different observations and conclusions. The more full my life is and the more challenge I have to overcome, the easier it becomes to become fixed in a perspective. Yet, we rarely allow ourselves to see the whole picture. Maybe we can't even see it all. But we also can't settle for one perspective – one single view on life that we allow to be all there is. There are many ways to shake things up and gain new perspective. One is getting high above it all rather than staying head-down in murk and mire of everyday life. This trip was at least that.
One observation I came to – which I have yet to put in any practical framework – is that my heart leaped at Singapore. This is not at all what I expected. I have always enjoyed and admired Singapore – but it's not a place I have associated personal inspiration. My years in Singapore were alternated with time in Bali and it was always at my Bali house and my Ubud life that I found spiritual sustenance. So I expected to enjoy Singapore, not to get a jump start from it. Nonetheless, that's exactly what I got. Singapore lifted me in a way that time on Ko Samet did not. Singapore released something in me and called out a part of me I didn't expect. I felt happy, safe and free in Singapore.
As the Oracle told Neo in The Matrix Reloaded, "Because you didn't come here to make the choice, you've already made it. You're here to try to understand why you made it."
My experience in Singapore means something. I obviously already made some kind of a change or was ready to make a choice I don't fully understand. There's something of value yet to be gleaned and I'll be chewing on this for awhile.
Then there's Jacob. Like so many people in my life, Jacob showed up for me. Sure, he showed up for fun and adventure. Borneo was no small lure. And he showed up to spend time with me and be my friend at a time when it was really nice to have a friend with whom to journey.
As cousins go, Jacob and I haven't known each other that long. We met for the first time at about 23 years-old and we're now 45. We don't have any shared childhood memories and really started in as friends who have the benefit of also being family. In the course of our 22 years, we have traveled Taiwan, Singapore (twice), Bali (twice) and now Borneo together. Jacob rode a motor scooter for the first time in Taiwan and took another stab at it in Bali where he even rode through the Monkey Forest – always a brave move one's first time. We've had adventures. Followed also by careers, marriages, families and a lot less time together. This past week of being just us – as we once were – was very special and fun.
Now I'll get some sleep and catch my flight in the morning. I'll be sad to once again say goodbye to Singapore. I'll be even sadder that the trip has come to its end. Then I'll remember that however wonderful experiencing the Borneo jungle was, it is just one adventure in a life of many adventures. There have been many before and there will be more to come. Unless the river of my life starts to flow backwards – whatever those adventures will be, whatever they entail, there will always be a return to Singapore.
