For every Alpha there must be an Omega. Today we woke to our last day in Patmos and as far as Sennen is concerned, apropos of Patmos, this is the Apocalypse.
Our discussions have many variations of the same theme which include, "Daddy, why do we have to go?", "I don't want to leave Patmos", "I'm not leaving – you guys go, but I'm staying", "Daddy, why don't we stay?", "It's not fair, I don't want to go – why can't I choose where I live?", "Are you going to FORCE me to go?", "Everyone can just move here!", "I like life on Patmos! Look at this, we're literally in heaven!", "What is better about where we live?" And so on.
In some ways, it puts me in the ranks of a criminal defense attorney – arguing things I don't totally agree with, but are right for the situation and moment.
I tell empathize completely – I also don't want to leave. But we have a good life in Westlake. And would he really want to by without his mom? And what about Ailyn, she doesn't want to live her year-round? Would he want to be separated from her? And the schools are better at home. And what about the rest of his family – doesn't he want grandparents, aunts, cousins, etc? And friends? What about Jewish community? There's no Jewish community on Patmos.
Surprisingly few of these points makes a real dent in his outlook. Only Ailyn trips him up. He doesn't want to be separated from his sister and he clearly doesn't want to live on Patmos year-round. Ailyn says in a perfect world, she would spend three months a year here – and she would be happy with three weeks more right now. As for everything else, his family can move to Greece (although certain members – particularly older ones who may need more frequent or involved medical care can live on nearby Leros, Kalymnos or Kos so they can have hospitals, but be within easy access for visits), he'll either learn Greek and go to school here or do an online/home schooling program from America, and there's always time to be a more involved Jew later.
I've tried reminding him that it's not always summer in Patmos and the winter might surprise him with its chillier weather and few people. Many of his favorite restaurants and shops will be closed. I wouldn't be the same as he's used to.
Don't care….
While this story sounds cute and hopefully one day he reads this and laughs at the memory, Sennen has burst into tears several times – yesterday morning, evening and again in the early afternoon in the parking lot of Petra Beach.
Does beginning Middle School play a part? He denies it – says he's even somewhat looking forward to it. I have my doubts.
In another sense, I think it's just terrible timing. In Greece today, as it was growing up for me and my generation, school starts the first full week of September – or what we refer to as "just after Labor Day." The middle of August is still prime-time summer and leaving Patmos in full-swing. It's like leaving in the middle of the party. Were it mid-October with the shortening days and cooler weather – the tourists mostly gone, many of the restaurants shutting down, the beach concessions all closed, Sennen's tune might be quite different. The problem is, as of yet, no one has cut the cake.
Ailyn seems to have the situation more in proportion. She doesn't want to leave tonight, but she has a good sense the party will end – and when it does, she's out. Ailyn also says she loves school, looks forward to seeing her friends – and so her parachute will open, she'll land safely and happily.
Instead, Ailyn has been crying intermittently about her big cousin Bailey going off to college. Bailey left yesterday to attend Boise State University. For Ailyn, some of the sadness is about Bailey with whom she has always had a very special relationship. Somehow the oldest and youngest cousins have had a strong bond and Ailyn realizes Bailey's life is shifting.
"She's not going to have time for her little cousin!" Ailyn wailed last night. "Now, I'm just the little cousin. I won't see Bailey for four years – she'll be away and too busy. And I'm the youngest, so this will happen again and again and I have to watch them all go! Being the youngest sucks!"
I couldn't tell her she's completely wrong. So I hugged her a lot. Then I reminded her we don't know Hayden or Sennen's life choices – they have yet to be made. It might not all play out as she thinks. But even more, these things suck until it's your turn. One day, Ailyn will have her turn to fly and she'll want to enjoy it. It's just not fun when you're young and it's not you.
All of this to say, it's an emotional day.
For me, it's a little more stressful. With my first Airbnb guests coming Sunday, I need to pay a little more attention to how we wrap things up. I've packed, paid the balance on the rental car, cleared out the fridge, stripped the beds, organized the pantry, unloaded the dishwasher, bought a few niceties for the guests, taken out the garbage and recycling, and run several loads of laundry. Staying on top of the laundry is the big thing: we have a washer and dryer, but they are smaller than in the US and there's both our laundry and the sheets, blankets and towels to process. One thing about having our house here is we can go back to Westlake with clean laundry – which is a great advantage on a jet-lagged first day back.
In the end, it's nothing that can't be managed – it just has to be done – on a day of big emotions and a final beach day.
The kids chose Petra – what used to be my favorite beach, not theirs – so they can be two little Sheryl Crows and soak up the sun. To my chagrin, this summer both kids have come to care about their tans. As if they didn't tan last year and in 2019. It doesn't matter how much sunscreen they wear, they still always tan. That's just Patmos. But Sennen felt that the nice 70 SPF Neutrogena Beach Defense I put on them might endanger their tans, so he and then Ailyn have taken to laying out. So long as they are fully and regularly sunscreened, I've decided to acquiesce.
I hadn't realized, but Petra is apparently the best beach for tanning based on its direction, space between sun beds and the way the umbrellas align. Moreover, we began running out of my massive, multi-packaged Costco supply of Neutrogena spray last week. I began doling it out during peak times of day and using one of the weaker European brands more supportive of tanning during late afternoons. Yesterday, I sprayed the last of the Neutrogena – and while we still have the face stick and cream – the kids have been excited for a full day of pure Carroten 30 with TanBooster – at least on their bodies.
"I'm going to go home like crispy grilled cheese," Sennen said while sun bathing, "I'll have a golden tan – people will be amazed…."
He already has one, but whatever. It's the last day. Note to self: more Neutrogena next year.
In any case Sheryl Crow said "it's not getting what you want, it's wanting what you got." And we have today. Even better, like Bob Seger, we have tonight too. At least until 12:15 am when we set sail for Athens on Blue Star 2.
On the day Mother Mary ascends to her rest in heaven, we're being sent back to earth. So it goes.
Now we see what it's like to Airbnb in the house – and we keep our good memories handy for when we need them and look forward to new ones next year with our Patmos mischpucha – whether that's what they know they are or not.
