The ABC’s Of Nursing – And Life

"So, remember when I told you I used to recruit foreign nurses to come work in the United States? Well, when I did that, I got to sit in on the classes they took to help them learn how to pass the American nurses license exam. So, I got to learn some things about nursing and how they do things."

"Wait, can I go to the bathroom?" Sennen asked.

"Of course."

"Okay, I'm back."

"Great, so what I was trying to tell you is that when I sat in on the classes the nurses took, I learned about something called triage. Do you know what that is? No? So it's when nurses and doctors have to sort out which patients have the most serious problems and which can wait. Sometimes it's easy like if a nurse has a patient with a broken leg and another with a heart attack, the nurse knows who to help first. But sometimes it isn't easy because you can have two patients both with serious problems. One of the questions the nurses had to answer was which patient do you help first – one with chest and arm pain or one with shortness of breath?"

"Chest and arm pain. They're having a heart attack," Sennen said and Ailyn agreed.

"You're right about the heart attack, but that's not the one you choose. If someone is having trouble breathing, they're in more danger of dying – so a nurse should help the shortness of breath patient first. The person with the heart attack has a better chance of living long enough to help later. And the reason nurses and doctors have rules about who to prioritize is that they help the most is because it would be terrible for them to have to decide who lives and dies without a reason – without a code that they can at the end of the day say they were following to make the best decisions possible.

"Even when they follow the code, they probably still feel badly a lot," Sennen said.

"But they can at least know they made the best decision possible for a set of reasons everyone agrees on. So, the decision here today is a little like that. I have two kids who both are right about what they want. It is very disappointing not to go out on the boat for the day – and I feel the very same way. Disappointment hurts a lot – it's one of the things that bothers us most in life. We planned our boat day and I wish Ailyn told us how scared she was and how sick she might feel. We could have maybe done this when Bubbee what here or found some other plan. But we only have an hour until the boat leaves and that's not enough time to come up with a new plan. So, I have to decide between both of my kids' needs, both of which are perfectly right. I don't think we can force someone to be afraid and sick. And if Ailyn spent her day sea sick, I wouldn't be able to enjoy either and I'd feel very guilty. I think our first priority as a family has to be to keep each other safe and healthy. But I'm really sorry, Mr. Boy."

"But it's my favorite thing we do on Patmos! We've done it every time! It's our tradition! And I love it! I was looking forward to it! It's my favorite thing!" Sennen had said earlier, before the speech.

So he cried and I hugged him and he cried and I hugged him. And then it was over. 

One thing I know about Sennen is that if he can understand something, he'll usually go with it. He can also be upset about something and also hang onto reason so he's reachable through his emotions.

Unfortunately, over the past year or so, Ailyn has become more prone to motion sickness and has thrown up during car rides on several occasions. Longer rides are harder for her and between her fear of boats and a one-time experience of getting severely sea sick, I knew what I had to do. As I told Sennen, it would have been nice if she had expressed her concerns even last night – or better yet in the prior days and weeks. 

"I just didn't think about it last night. But I'm afraid this morning," Ailyn explained.

That's being a kid – and a human being. What are you going to do?

All of that to say, we didn't go on our day excursion of going to nearby coves, small islands and beaches and jumping off the boat to swim. Indeed, it is one of my favorite things on Patmos or almost any trip. Sadly, in the end it was not only the right decision for Ailyn, but Sennen's stomach started bothering him. I think it's mild food poisoning – we suspect from the spicy mayo on his sliders yesterday. Instead of heading to the beach this afternoon, we bought Ailyn the canvas and acrylic paints she's been wanting and let her create while Sennen rested. Her expected masterpiece is intended for a particular wall in the foyer – her own contribution to the house.

Other people's contributions are starting to take shape as well. 

Yesterday at about 4pm, the sound of a weed whacker began in the front yard. Michaelis The Gardener (not to be confused with Michaelis The God Of Laundry) and eventually a second person (presumably an assistant) donned face shields, grabbed equipment and began hacking through the overgrowth that was our yard. They spent about three hours, minus a smoke break and then as unexpectedly as they arrived, the two men disappeared without a word, their equipment, the bags full of raked tall grass or being paid. I have to assume they'll return, although it hasn't happened yet. Dry, dead grass lies all over the lawn waiting to be raked and bagged. Nonetheless, there are already noticeably fewer bugs and cats (which saddens the kids because Little Grey really liked hiding in our grass).

Meanwhile, Manos found us a cleaning lady. The two ladies he hired to deep clean for us prior to arrival had other commitments, so we couldn't continue with them. But eventually, Manos found someone with some bandwidth to clean in the mornings. She comes tomorrow.

I had my own small victory the other day – installing a PUR water filter on the kitchen faucet. After testing the filtered water, it met all safety markers from metals to bacteria. So now we are no longer reliant on bottled water. 

I'm still waiting for the new bedroom furniture and the kitchenware I ordered. The carpenter quoting me new interior doors seems in no hurry to close any deals and the appliance repair man should eventually have the parts needed to stop the power surges on the oven and dishwasher… eventually. Manos is still working on getting us our own Internet, but ran into a snag because while I have a house, I lack a residency permit or visa. He's trying to get around it using documents related to the house. I suppose like everything, it will all come together in time. Just not on my timeline.

"Daddy, on the way back from the bakery, this priest started speaking Greek to me!" Sennen told me yesterday.

"He just came up and started speaking Greek?"

"No, he was coming out of the bakery and he saw me and started speaking Greek. I told him I'm sorry I don't really speak any Greek."

"So, was that weird for you?"

"A little, but he thought I was a local boy! I like that! It's cool when people think you belong!"

Over lunch we discussed how one reason for good restaurant behavior and tipping well is that we don't want to be the unpleasant Americans down the street, but those nice Americans who moved into the neighborhood. We'll never be Patmian, but we can be a positive part of this community we love – so we need to cultivate our place in it.

Sennen is right – it is great to belong.

As we start to acknowledge our time together in Patmos will be coming to a close in two days, we talk about what we've enjoyed, what we'll do next year and how nice the rest of the summer will be for them. Still, we aren't mourning. We have two good days to use and enjoy. There's no sense in throwing the towel in a minute early. Perhaps it helps that we're not tourists. We don't wonder when we'll come back or when. We'll be back. Patmos is one of our homes – the one we're creating together. We need to see how Ailyn's painting looks with the new furniture next summer.