"This is the soap I want next," Sennen said pointing to a fragrance of body wash he hadn't tried before.
"And this is the soap I want!" Ailyn followed with a bottle of her own.
"Guys, you realize you have enough body wash for now?"
"Next time!" Ailyn chimed back.
"Next time as in next year when we come back? Because we only have a week left here for the three of us."
"Yeah, take a picture so we can remember which soaps we want for next year," Sennen suggested.
So I did.
What does one do when you wake up on a Saturday morning and your Bubbee is gone? Eat a little breakfast and run some errands around town. I tidied up, washed some towels in our now fully functioning laundry setup, and we took off to get rid of the recycling and garbage, buy Sennen some swim goggles, grab a wrench from the hardware store. stop by the produce truck by the port, visit the produce shop, buy meat from the butcher and then get a few staples at the supermarket. All of this within a four minute walk. The kids know the routine – what we get where and how the supermarket works with its elevator in the back to take your shopping cart upstairs to the household and dry goods level.
After trying goat milk last week, Sennen opted for sheep milk (organic, no less) and sheep yogurt this week. He tried the milk at home and likes it. In fact, Sennen has been generally adventurous in the bovine department, often ordering goat dishes at local tavernas. Ailyn followed suit one night as well.
Not surprisingly, without my mom here, the kids immediately became more responsible and helpful – carrying bags, helping with the shopping and acting responsibly. It's the laws of physics – kids are better for one parent than for two and best of all one-on-one.
Of course they were sad last night when they had to say goodbye to my mom. She got lots of hugs including from Sennen who gives physical affection sparingly. They also wanted to ensure Bubbee had the best send-off possible and wanted to take her to Ktima Petra – one of the restaurants she enjoyed most near Petra Beach – for dinner where they all had moussaka, my mom's favorite dish and a definite strength of the house. Nonetheless, Sennen explained his position yesterday, which Ailyn largely shared, "I'll miss Bubbee. We've had a really good time and it was good she was here. And I'm also looking forward to some time just the three of us."
So am I.
Over the course of the day, I feel like the kids have opened up to me. Over spiral cheese pies at Stelios' Gelateria and snack shop, I learned about Sennen's playground drama and scandalous accusations of a 4th grade girl wanting to marry a boy in his class for his money. They wanted to know why teenagers and their parents struggle with one another and how to handle friends and family who don't reciprocate kindness or effort. Both kids shared some feelings about the divorce and had questions about why some marriages work out, why others don't and what goes into the contract between two people. I gave them what I could.
We all began to make the house a little more ours. I moved into the master bedroom and without three of us camping in their room/the guest room, they negotiated a new bed arrangement and moved clothes around. It wasn't much but it was clearly an act of making the space theirs.
We discussed plans for future furniture and how we want the house to feel for ourselves and for Airbnb guests. And Sennen, to my surprise, asked to eat dinner in tonight. "I'm tired of eating out. Let's stay in, relax and eat healthy." Fantastic. Of course, the big hitch is how long the oven and stove will run before tripping the circuit breaker. We agreed on something I can make stovetop with faster cooking time. An evening in sounds good – and with no work, maybe we'll just chill out and watch a movie. Not every Patmos night has to be a Patmos night.
As it has dawned on us that we only have a week left here together, the kids have felt that three weeks just isn't enough.
"Can we come back in winter?" Sennen asked.
I explained how different it would be and that we would have to skip Southeast Asia to do that. He was dissuaded.
However, we can have five weeks next year. My friends Conlan and Sharon's wedding kept us stateside a week and half after school ended. Next year, we can make more of our half of summer break.
Walking around town, we have a growing community. The kids know numerous shop owners, the owners of both gelaterias, the people who work at Cafe Mostra, their coach at the gym and his family, Manos the attorney, Christina and Dimitris who rent us our car and who live a block away, the family that owns the gyro place in the town square whose kids are their age and speak English, kids at the local beach, the owner of the pie bakery and her son, Manolis at the organic shop, the family that owns the laundry, the family that runs the linens store, the boys at the soccer field, the owners of numerous clothing shops along the main "street" of town, and most importantly Sennen's "boss" Eirini and her husband Allessandro who has gone from calling Sennen "boy" in 2019 to calling him "man" in 2023. In fact, today when Eirini learned we only have a week left, she said, "I think you should give notice!"
Patmos will never fully be home, but it will be one of their homes. My mom predicted the kids will make the place theirs and the house and Patmos in general will become part of their lives long-term.
"I've been here 10 days and I feel like I know so many people as I walk through town. I always stop and chat with the lady who runs the shop where we bought Sennen's shirt, I saw Coach Thanasis walking his two-year old daughter down the street and we said "Hi". Ailyn and I saw your attorney (Manos) when we were walking to the beach yesterday. And I know Eirini and Alessandro and so many people." my mom said. She started off the week thinking it was amazing I knew so many people around town but by the end of her visit, it all made perfect sense. It's just the culture and nature of the Patmos.
Today has been mundane as anything: errands, a cheap lunch, a midday rest, time at the local beach (and these kids can spend infinite amounts of time in the Patmos water). It has also been magical. We have been "us". The flow has been easy and we feel like a team. Will it last? Will they become annoying? Will I? Of course it will and won't last, and we will bother one another. As I told them earlier, love involves acts of giving. We don't always feel like showing up. Our loved ones need things we may not want to give or even worse, that we're not prepared to give. Most importantly we have to show up for each other in the moments when the other person is at their worst – when they're sick, in pain, in a mood, going through something, smelly, unpleasant. But we do it – because not only is that love, but when you're with the right people, it comes back to you. We give, show up, reciprocate and build. That is family. That is community. This is Patmos.
