Via Vienna

"Sennen, you have such a great attitude this morning,  I really appreciate it!" I told Sennen at 4:15 am in our Athens Airport hotel room.

"No problem, Daddy! It's because I want to go home and see Mommy and this will be the best way!"

He sprung up when I woke him, went into action getting ready, was positive, a great listener and generally followed directions right away and for the rest of our long journey from Athens to Vienna to Los Angeles to home. That really made the difference given it was just me and them from security in Athens onward.

Ailyn was not surprisingly her sweet and easy going self, but didn't did have trouble starting the day 1t 4:15 am. It took a little coaxing to get her going. Luckily, I was ready with her clothes, toothbrush, etc and she eventually picked up the pace. 

Matheus showed up at our hotel room door at 4:30 and helped us schlep everything to the Austrian Airlines check-in counter – which turned out to be at the very furthest end of the terminal. But other than having to pay an overweight charge on one of the bags, everything was smooth sailing on Austrian and throughout the journey. We even got a lot minute upgrade to Business Class for our Athens-Vienna leg.

"Daddy, I really like Business Class. The food is yummy and this is REALLY nice!" Sennen said several times aboard the plane. Ironically, Austrian's Business Class on an A320 has only slightly more comfortable seats and most of the difference is in the food service and attention level. It's not the same as their upgrades on their long-haul flights. But Sennen was thrilled nonetheless.

The one and very big downer of the day was parting ways with Matheus at security. It was a tearful goodbye – even more so for me and Matheus than for the kids. Sennen gave Matheus lots of love and told him to come back and visit every month. In Sennen's mind, this clearly wasn't a major goodbye and he seems assured we'll see more of Matheus. Sennen is also fairly comfortable with the idea that his au pairs are people who eventually go on to other aspects of their lives. Sennen can even tell you all about Matheus' family and has spoken to his mom on video calls.

Ailyn, on the other hand is a far less accepting and forgiving person when it comes to au pair transitions. With Jesper who was the love of her little life, she was angry that he left and refused to say goodbye to him when he left the house for the last time. With Matheus, who became the second love of her life, she was hugs and cuddles until the end of of the day Wednesday. Then, when she realized it was their last night and we would say goodbye the next morning, she cooled off and didn't want to bunk in his room anymore – despite having previously been excited about it. Her goodbye at the airport had hugs and goodbyes, but for her, was surprisingly cool. She needed to detach. In Vienna when I suggested we call Matheus and see how he was doing during his day waiting in Athens for his early evening flight out, Ailyn said, "I'm not ready, yet." A very aware and fair feeling. She needs a little time to lick her wounds. She doesn't seem angry, but maybe a little hurt because she loves him so much.

Yet for everything else, the kids did great. They were polite and well behaved on the plane, did great with telling me when they needed bathroom breaks with enough notice. They followed directions and were great with security, passport control, etc. They even help up their passports and re-entry slips per the CBP officer's instructions in the new experimental express line for US Citizens for which we were chosen at LAX. The officer specifically asked the kids to present their passports and cards in a certain way to speed up the process – and they did.

That didn't mean that Sennen – in his fatigue – didn't ramp up his questions. Because Vienna was filled with questions about every plane, airline, process, etc. And he didn't sleep a wink on the flight to Los Angeles. So, he was tired by bedtime. But he never lost it and was able to take question-breaks when asked. Ailyn on the other hand always enjoys a nap and slept on the plane, in the shuttle van home and was happy to go to bed. 

"Daddy, my toys really missed me," she said in a thrill as she entered her playroom and was reminded of all the toys she had forgone for the summer. The kids really didn't use many toys for the past two months and coming home was like walking into a treasure vault. When Sennen was reunited with his musical instruments, there was no stopping him.

At about 7pm, my cousin Amy showed up to help with the kids today and tomorrow. Shortly after her, Emily came home from her conference and all of Sennen's hard work paid off as he had gone through his journey to reunite with his mommy.

About 8pm, their heads hit the pillow and they fell sound asleep. Not surprisingly, Ailyn somehow made her way into bed with Emily and me in the middle of the night – confused by the change of location. Sennen got up at 5:30 and couldn't sleep more, so we let him begin playing in the playroom. But not bad for a first night back.

At the end of the line, I can say everything went well. In fact, the entire summer went better than expected – right now to the flight home and the dreaded Matheus goodbye. As Emily unpacks kids and I sort through mail and run errands, life feels far from Patmos already. It's both good and bad. We never felt the need to come home and probably could have stayed in Patmos for much longer. There's a lot to that life. The nice part is that we've built a great life here and once back in it, it feels good too. Westlake Village is no schlubby place. We have a nice house, live in an incredible neighborhood, the kids enjoy the beautiful backyard, parks and schools. We have every convenience we need and community with which to reconnect. There are a lot of great people in our lives. Sure, I could skip the bank, Costco, Trader Joe's, Starbucks and other errands I'll get to today. But if these are our biggest problems, we're doing great. I'm looking forward to getting back to hot yoga and my car is a lot nicer than the Hyundai I-30. Our bathroom is also a nice upgrade from Patmos.

Of course, I'll miss the kind people of Patmos and our life there too. 

I have found that when I speak different languages, different parts of me come out. My French-speaking self is different than my English-speaking self and different yet again from the guy who speaks Thai. I've talked about it with our au pairs and recall Jesper really liking his English speaking self. This phenomenon extends beyond language. My abroad self operates differently than my repatriated one. Home is always home and we sync up with our society with a set of rules, views, perspectives and entitlements that go with ownership in a society and community. At least for me, being abroad comes with more wonder, flexibility, flow and acceptance. There's more room to observe, learn, accept, reflect and adapt. My abroad self is far more likely to accept what seems absurd and take time for people and processes that at home, I'd dump in a heartbeat. 

Which is great, except for where it's not. The qualities of the abroad self wouldn't hurt me to maintain at home. It's difficult – because I need to navigate my daily life, I have less time to waste and there are more people who might take advantage of a less savvy or directed me. At the same time, perhaps if I was more open to listen despite people's quirks and absurdities or zoom out and reevaluate situations and ways of doing things, I might find more peace or even success in how I operate. Without promises, I'm going to try to bring my expatriate self home.

As for Sennen and Ailyn, we definitely brought home different children than we boarded a flight with on June 7th. As with every trip, they go through tremendous growth and simply absorb what's around them. The fact that so little seems unusual or challenging as they travel is amazing. They accept the world very easily and incorporate all they see and learn. They are savvier, more interesting people capable of conversation on a bizarre array of topics. They are more mature than they were in June. I like to think that their world has a lot of color, shades and depth. They certainly know about a lot more than I did at their age and incorporate a wider worldview.

It's hard to know what these aboard experiences will mean for them exactly, but I'm hopeful it will be somewhere interesting and that one day, they look back and know that their parents wanted them to look well beyond the constructs of their daily life at home and to see the world in bigger ways while challenging assumptions and the ideas bundled up and handed to them by the education system, the media and their society. The world is complex and wondrous – but also powered by some simple truths that often escape us. Hopefully, through these journeys, they develop worldview that will carry  them through interesting, happy and fulfilled lives.